


Escaping the Past

by lingeringmelodies



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, Emmerdale Big Bang 2018, Emmerdale Big Bang Round 2, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, forging relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 10:39:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16116689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lingeringmelodies/pseuds/lingeringmelodies
Summary: Robert returns to the Village, looking to rebuild bridges and to finally put his past behind him.





	Escaping the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Illustrations by the brilliant @Punk-Solas!
> 
> trigger warning for rape and alcoholism

Robert looked from Jack to Andy and back again, fighting tears as Jack's words played on a loop in his head.

He had to get out of there. Get as far away as he could.

"Always knew you loved him more than me," he said bitterly.

Trying to hold back the tears. Robert knew he couldn't show weakness.

"If you think that why don't you just leave?" Jack sneered.

"He killed Mom! And you still loved him best. Why couldn't you just be my Dad?" he asked, fists clenching at his sides. "Why wasn't I ever enough?"

All Jack did was stare down at the boy. Robert knew then that he couldn't compete with sunshine boy Andy.

"I've had it up to here young man. You've pushed me too far!" Jack shouted.

"If you want me gone just say so and I'll go," Robert shouted back.

"What use are you, Boy? I need a real man here to help run the farm. And we both know that just ain't ever gonna be you."

"All I've ever done is try to help. Why don't you see that? I'm your son. That...," he pointed at Andy, "is the boy who shot you and killed mum and yet you love him like he can't hurt a fly. What have I ever done but try to help? Just tell me what I did to deserve this. What have I done to be this unloved by my own dad?" he demanded, tears now streaming down his face, sadness and anger taking over.

"You've been nothing but a disappointment since the day you were born! Andy may not have our blood running through his veins, but he's more of a Sugden that you'll ever be!" Jack bellowed.

That was the final straw. Robert ran as fast as he could. Chucked a pile of his clothes in a bag. Then he saw the pictures he kept of his mother. His kind, gentle mother. What would she think? He put the pictures in his bag and zipped it up. He walked out the house taking one more final glance before walking away, tear stained face, red eyes but none of that mattered anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~

Robert wandered aimlessly down one street after another. He had nowhere to go, no one who cared. He just needed to find someplace to sleep tonight.

He checked his wallet. He certainly didn't have enough for a hotel room. He kept walking trying to keep warm. Then he noticed a fast food restaurant. Knowing it was cheap and warm he went inside to figure out his options.

Robert ordered a burger and chips and took his meal over to a table in the corner. He glanced around at the other customers as he picked at his chips, trying to figure out what he was going to do next. He was a stranger in a strange city. There was no one he could turn to for help. What was he going to do now? He needed a job, a safe place to stay. But he didn't have any of that. And he didn't have any idea how to get it. It wasn't like anyone would hire a 15 year old street kid, was it?

 

He figured tonight he had to sleep on the streets. It terrified Robert, not having the comfort of his home or his family, to be yet another nobody on the streets. But he had to do it. It was his only option. He aimed to find a doorway. A place that was somewhat closed off from the elements.

Robert bit into his burger, savoring the taste. Who knew when he'd be able to pay for another meal. He quickly found himself blinking back fresh tears. This was all wrong! He was meant to be cared for, not tossed into the gutter. Why had his father done this to him?

It was getting late and the restaurant was starting to close. Robert ate the last few bites of his meal and headed to find a somewhat warm place to sleep.

Robert wandered down a few more streets. He wanted someplace a little bit secluded. He definitely didn't want to be grabbed by the police.

 

Robert finally found a nice secluded spot after searching for a while. It was a a small doorway that belonged to a closed down store. It was sheltered and quiet. Robert didn't know if he would sleep but at least he had a place to rest.

Robert lay in the doorway, using his bag for a pillow, and tried to make himself as small as possible. He wasn't sure how long he lay there before he woke, his eyes opening wide at the sight of a stranger staring at him.

Don't show fear he thought to himself. Don't show weakness. "I..um can I help you?" Robert asked, staring the stranger in the eye.

The stranger moved closer and Robert scrambled to his feet, eyeing the man warily. He grabbed up his bag, ready to run.

"What do you want?" Robert asked the strange man, moving further away from the man with small steps. The man smirked and Robert turned and ran.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He heard the other man's footsteps close behind him. He felt his breath being taken away as a hand grabbed his shoulder and pushed him to the ground. The man looked down and smirked at Robert. "Please don't.." Robert pleaded.

"I'll do whatever I want" the man replied. He turned Robert onto his back and leaned in, grinding his lips against Robert's.

"Please.... please don't, "Robert pleaded again.

This made the man angry. The stranger didn't care for Roberts pleas and cries of help and instead undid his own belt. "You will do as I say, won't you?"

Robert squirmed and bucked and swung his arms, trying to escape.

The stranger hit Robert. Making him fall to the ground. "Now now. I thought I'd told you to be a good boy or bad things will happen."

"NO!!!" Robert screamed, bucking harder, his fingernails raking down the man's face.

The man retaliated by punching Robert and kicking him until he could barely move. "Now you've pushed me too far. You are going to let me do whatever I want with you. I will not tell you again."

Robert groaned in pain, gasping for breath.

"Mm you look so pretty laying there, waiting for me," the stranger purred, kissing down his neck. "Mm so good for me."

Robert whimpered when the man squeezed his face painfully, forcing his mouth open and pushing his cock into Robert's mouth and beginning to pump his hips, his hand gripping Robert's hair, holding his head still. He couldn't hold back the tears as the stranger thrust faster, choking him as he rocked himself deeper with each relentless stroke. He gagged as the man came in his mouth, his body heaving as the stranger finally left his mouth.

He groaned when the man rolled him over, yanking his jeans down roughly. "No.... please.... don't...." He gasped, squirming when the man shoved a finger inside him, the burning dragging another whimper as the man worked his finger in and out, adding a second, stretching him, increasing the pain. "NO........ STOP!" Robert clawed at the ground, trying to pull himself away, to escape the pain building inside him.

He let out a grunt of relief when the fingers left him, but quickly whimpered in fear when he felt something much larger breach him, the man ramming into him mercilessly. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Robert screamed out at the pain of the sudden invasion, his body spasming uncontrollably. He sank his teeth into his arm as the man rode him, and he felt himself drift, his senses dulling as his mind switched off, trying to protect him from the horror of what he was enduring.

Robert lost all sense of time. He didn't know how long the man had been tormenting him. He was barely aware of the stranger coming, deep inside of him before finally, finally pulling out, leaving Robert a mess on the ground. He lay there, tears falling silently down his cheeks, his jeans still tangled around his ankles.

The stranger takes one last look at Robert. "Mm so pathetic. You sit here and cry. Lighten up. You just got laid be more happy."

This just made more tears fall down Robert's face.

"Mm fine." The man got out his wallet. "Here's some money. Not that you were worth it but maybe you can drown your sorrows. You're pathetic," he said, walking away, throwing some cash at Robert.

Robert looked down at the money. He didn't know what to do. His emotions everywhere. He gets up, struggles to pull his jeans back up and starts walking. Walking in any direction. He just has to get away from that spot. He picks up the pace. Running faster and faster. He doesn't know how long he was running for but when he stops he's outside the offie. He goes in and gets a bottle of whiskey. He's cold. He's cold and and he's tired and he just needs to forget. He buys the whiskey and just downs it. Hoping to forget, hoping to escape from cruel reality. He drinks until the bottle is empty and he wonders where it all went. Suddenly the world goes black and he's hitting the floor. The cold ground of the earth.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Aaron had had enough. He couldn't take it anymore. Everything his dad, no not his dad. He didn't deserve to be that any more. Aaron ran. His legs ached but he couldn't stop running. He didn't know where he was going but he just had to get away. He couldn't stay there with that man. He couldnt risk it happening again. So he ran.

Aaron just barely caught the bus before it pulled away. He just prayed his mother wouldn't be angry when he showed up on her doorstep. It had been ages since he'd even seen her. What if she sent him back? He couldn't handle going back there again, couldn't handle waiting for the next time his dad decided he needed to be pulled back into line.

He couldn't sit still. The bus ride seemed to go on for eternity but he was there. He was back in Emmerdale. His face was tear stained as he walked the quiet streets. He headed to his mother. Praying she would see, see what that man had done. Praying she would understand. Just praying.

Aaron slowed as he approached the pub, coming to a complete standstill as he saw his car parked at the side. How could he have known? How could he have gotten there so quickly? Oh God, what was he telling his mother about him?

He slowed his movements. He thought he had gotten away. He cautiously opened the door. Aaron walked in and the room went silent. He was there. He glared at Aaron. Aaron knew that glare well enough by now. He had stepped out of line and was about to be taught a lesson. He couldn't let that happen.

Aaron's eyes darted around the pub, landing on Cain and he bee lined over to his uncle. "Please, Cain. Don't let him..." he pleaded softly. He grabbed onto Cain's arm with a vice grip. There was no way he'd just go quietly. Not this time. Not ever again.

Aaron started to panic. His breathing starting to quicken. Cain took Aaron outside.

"Aaron what is it? What's wrong?" Cain asked his nephew.

"I.. I can't go back. Please don't let him take me, Cain. Please," Aaron begged, tears streaming down his face.

Aaron looked up at Cain. He really didn't want to tell his uncle. He never wanted to look weak to the man he looked up to. "Can't I stay with you?" he begged.

Aaron's vision was going blurry from all the tears.

"Aaron just tell me what's wrong please. What did your dad do?" Cain asked softly.

"I..I can't," Aaron cried out.

"Aaron, tell me what happened please. We can work this out. I'm sure whatever happened can't be so bad."

Aaron couldn't take it anymore. How could it not be so bad? How could Cain not see? Anger built up in Aaron until he burst, emotions pouring out of him. "He raped me!" Aaron shouted. "He..he raped me," Aaron said again in a near whisper, not daring to look at his uncle.

Aaron flinched when Cain placed a hand on his shoulder, his eyes locked on the front door, his father standing there, anger glittering in his furious eyes. He stepped back, terrified of what his father would do now.

Gordon walked slowly towards Aaron. His hands curling into fists. "Now what have I told you about spreading lies?" he shouted at Aaron who cowered away.

"Don't go near him!" Cain shouted back.

"Don't get involved, Cain," he said, taking another step.

"I said don't go near him. You're sick!" Cain spoke aggressively, stepping between Gordon and Aaron, ready to fight.

"Please, Cain.." he heard Aaron cry, and he lost it. His fist flew, his anger taking control. How could that man do that? How could he hurt Aaron?

Aaron stood frozen as he watched his uncle and his father fighting in the middle of the street. He didn't even notice the punters spilling out of the pub to watch the fight. His eyes were locked on the two men locked in battle. He knew the outcome of this fight would determine what was going to happen to him next. Whether he'd be safe with his uncle, or enduring more pain from the man who was supposed to love him and protect him. But when had Gordon ever protected him? All the man had ever done was hurt him.

He heard his mum scream. Heard the voices of punters. Heard Cain screaming at Gordon. Then it went quiet. Both men were covered in cuts and blood.

Cain got up and walked towards Aaron. "You always have a place with me, Aaron," Cain spoke softly.

He heard Gordon groan in pain. Was he finally free? Was he finally safe?, he thought to himself. The last thing he heard was an ambulance siren as they walked away from the man who caused Aaron too much pain.

Aaron looked up at Cain gratefully. "You won't let him hurt me anymore?" he asked. He just needed the reassurance right now.

Cain nodded. "He'll never get near you again, Aaron," he promised. "But, you're going to need to tell me everything. And probably the police too. I doubt they'll take too kindly to the fact I just beat your father in front of half the village without a damn good reason."

Aaron stiffened. If he had to tell Cain and the police, that meant his mother would find out. That was the last thing Aaron ever wanted to happen. He never wanted Chas to know what he'd gone through since she left him all those years ago.

"I can't, Cain. Mum. Don't want mum to know. Please, Cain." Aaron begged. He couldn't do it. He didn't want people to know. He couldn't handle their pity.

Cain led Aaron into his house, settling the teen on the couch and getting him a glass of water before sitting beside him. "I'll handle your mum, Aaron. Just tell me everything."

Aaron took a deep breath and cleared the tears from his face. "It started when I was 8. I... I angered him, stepped out of line. He said I needed to be taught a lesson. During the night he..he came into my room." He paused, emotions taking over. He broke down.

Cain went to answer when a loud knock came at the door. He didn't resist when the police stated he was under arrest. But he did flinch when they told him he was being charged with murder rather than GBH.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert lay in a drunken haze on the bed, blinking as the door opened and his next random entered the room. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he hadn't spent the majority of his day in an alcohol induced state of total numbness.

He preferred it this way. It was the only thing that got him through his life anymore. His mind couldn't handle even the vaguest memory of their hands on him. It made him sick to his stomach, knowing just how far he had fallen. His father was right in the end. He really was nothing but a disappointment.

He grabbed the closet bottle of whatever he had to hand, usually vodka and lots of it. He downed what was left of the bottle, still numb from yesterday. He finally looked up at the strange man who entered the room.

"How can I help you?" Robert asked, knowing he had to try and be nice if he wanted a nice pay out.

The bloke looked him over, smirking. Robert was careful not to show his revulsion. He'd been in this hell of a life for so long now, he'd practically forgotten what had come before. There was only this miserable existence now. Selling himself for meager earnings. And most of that would go into more alcohol to numb him. It was a never ending cycle of despair. All Robert wanted to do was to get out. Out of this pit he'd thrown himself into out of necessity. Out of this miserable circumstance. He'd been wondering lately if he shouldn't just end it all.

The man moved slowly towards Robert undoing his belt and kicking off his trousers. "Now pretty boy. Get undressed. I want you to take me. Take my big hard cock in that nice mouth of yours," the man sneered.

"Depends how much am I going to get for being your pretty boy" Robert said, too drunk to care, even £10 would do.

"Mm let's say £30" the man replied throwing the money at Robert.

Robert moved towards the man and took one last look before he closed his eyes and took the strangers cock in his mouth. He hated this. Hated how he'd gotten into it, but it's all he had, all he knew. Years of doing it. Years of drinking to numb the pain. It never stopped.

Robert waited til the man had left, slamming the door behind him. Then he scrambled to the toilet, heaving wretchedly into it. He was a shaking, quivering mess by the time he crawled back into his room. He lay on his dingy mattress, grabbing a bottle and gulping it down sloppily, trying to erase the latest images from his mind. He hated himself for what he let these strangers do to him, hated what he'd turned himself into. But what choice did he really have? He'd been starving on the streets; no money, no job, no anything. He'd already been stripped of his last bit of dignity that first night on the streets, when some stranger had taken what he wanted. So he'd given into his desperation. He'd become a rent boy, and he hated himself more and more each day for it.

The more he thought the more he drank. He knew now that he was a disappointment. That he didn't deserve anything better than this. This was the life he had to live. He wished it wasn't this way but it was. For five years this had been his life and forever more it will be. The sips turning into gulps. He ached. He ached everywhere. His whole body now broken. His mental state no longer existed. He drank until he could forgot. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He needed it. He would always need it.

Ignoring the pain, ignoring the hurt, he drank more and more and more until the world went black.

~~~~~~~~~

Aaron lurched to his feet as the police began to arrest Cain. "NO! You can't! He was protecting me!" Aaron cried, gripping at his uncle, struggling to get him away from the police.

"Please don't make it harder than it is, son," one of the police men said.

"Aaron, go to the pub. You need to tell your mum what Gordon did. It's for your own good. I'll be out in a flash," Cain told Aaron.

The next thing Aaron knew his uncle was in the back of a police car.

Aaron ran to the pub, shouting for his mum. He needed her to do something, anything, to save Cain. They had to get him free. They just had to! If it wasn't for Cain, Gordon would be dragging Aaron home right now, getting ready to abuse him again.

He ran straight to the backroom. He saw Chas sitting at the table her head in her hands. "Mum. They've taken Cain. It wasn't his fault. He was protecting me," Aaron cried out.

"Protecting you from what Aaron? What did your dad do?" she asked, worry in her eyes.

Aaron started to panic. He had to tell her. He had to save Cain, had to. "He raped me," he whispered, scared to say it too loudly.

Chas stared at her son in horror. Aaron gazed back at her, tears in his eyes. "He was going to do it again, Mum. That's why I came here. I told Cain what he'd done. Dad heard me. He was going to punish me again. That's why Cain attacked him. He was protecting me, Mum. We can't let him go down for that! We can't!"

Chas was speechless. The only thing she could do was hug her little boy tightly. She needed to protect him now more than ever. How did she not know? How could she leave him with that monster?

"Please mum," she heard Aaron plead.

"Shh. It's going to be ok. We have to tell the police what happened, Aaron. It's the only thing we can do," she told him, trying to comfort him.

"We need to save Cain," Aaron kept repeating.

"We will. We will, Son," was all Chas could reply.

~~~~~~~~

Aaron sat between Chas and Zack in the courtroom, his eyes locked on Cain's back as they waited for the jury to file back into the courtroom. All Aaron could think about was what would happen if they sent his uncle to prison for protecting him. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself if that happened.

Aaron had already taken the stand. He told the court about Cain protecting him, told them how his own dad abused him. Now it was all down to the jury. They held his uncle's fate in their hands.

"On the count of involuntary manslaughter how do you find the defendant?"

The foreman of the jury stood up and said the one word Aaron didn't want to hear.

"Guilty."

How? Aaron though. If anyone was guilty it was Gordon. All Cain had done was protect him. This wasn't fair. Aaron wanted to scream, tell them they were wrong, but he couldn't speak.

The judge thanked the jury for their service and then turned to face Cain. "The jury has found the defendant guilty of involuntary manslaughter. Normally I would schedule a separate trial date for sentencing, but in this case, I don't see any reason to prolong things. I am prepared to pronounce sentencing now. The defendant will please rise," the judge declared.

The man watched as Cain stood before him. "I have heard all that I need to hear in order to give my ruling on sentencing. In the case of Cain Dingle, having been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter, and considering the circumstances surrounding it, I hereby sentence you to 5 years."

Aaron cried out loudly. "No! You can't!"

"Silence in my courtroom!" the judge thundered. "Now, as I was saying. I sentence you to 5 years, suspended to time served."

Aaron let out a sigh of relief. Suspended sentence. It was all good. It was going to be alright.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert gripped his bag tightly as the taxi pulled to a stop outside the b&b. He climbed slowly, a bit awkwardly, out of the cab and reached into his pocket for his wallet. He paid the driver and then turned to stare up at the building in front of him. He couldn't help being apprehensive about what he was doing. He hadn't set foot in this village in a decade. He'd never planned to. But circumstances had changed. Everything about him had changed in the time he'd been gone.

He slowly walked into the building, looking around cautiously. He heard voices, voices of happiness. He dinged the bell.

He heard her before he saw her. The voice of a woman he hadn't spoken to in far too long. He panicked. He hadn't expected to see her this soon. It was overwhelming. He couldn't do this, he thought, the panic bubbling up, threatening to spill over. He wasn't ready to see her here, now.

"Hello, sir. How can I..." She started before looking up. "My gosh.. Robert. Is that you? Oh it is. Robert," she whispered the last part. Not believing what she was seeing.

Robert quickly composed himself as best he could. "Hello, Diane... I was.... hoping to rent a room," he greeted quietly.

His mind was working frantically, trying not to say the wrong thing. Don't mention the past, he reminded himself. He gave her a weak smile, waiting on a reply. "Oh, Robert! Of course you can have a room. Free of charge. I missed you Robert. We all have," Diane said, a sparkle in her eye.

Robert returned her smile weakly, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to ruffle any feathers, after all. He was just coming back. The last thing he wanted to do was alienate everyone straight away.

"I've missed you too, Diane," he spoke quietly.

"Go get settled in, Pet. Do you want me to tell Vic you're back? She'll be so happy to see you," Diane said, picking up the phone to dial Vic.

"No!" He shouted. "I mean it's late. I'll tell her tomorrow," he quickly added.

Robert took the room key Diane offered and went up to his room. He set his bag on the bed and quickly rummaged through it, pulling out several pill bottles and lining them up on the table next to the bed. He opened each bottle in turn, taking out the proper dosage of each. Once he had them all laid out he scooped them up, stuffing them into his mouth and washing them down with the last of his bottled water.

Robert sat down heavily on the bed, questioning his sanity in returning to the village where he'd grown up for the millionth time. He was still far from convinced that this was the best option, regardless of what his doctors all told him.

Why did he need their support? It's not like he'd ever gotten it before. What was supposed to make now any different? It's not like any of them knew what he'd gone through when he'd been tossed aside all those years ago. He didn't matter to them at all. They didn't know him, didn't care about him.

And now, after all that had happened to him, he wasn't sure he wanted to let them back into his life. He wasn't that Robert anymore. This Robert was a complete stranger to them. He was a complete stranger to himself.

He got out of the awful, tight, scratchy suit he was wearing, getting into something much more comfortable and lay on the bed. He never wanted to come back. He was content to stay in London yet he knew he couldn't, couldn't keep waking up everyday tired and full of fear.

He was tired now however. Being back in the village again drained him of all his energy, sleep taking over.

 

~~~~~~

 

Robert woke slowly the next morning, stretching carefully on the bed. He sat up and contemplated what he was supposed to do with himself today. He knew he wanted to see Victoria today. She was, after all, the only reason he'd come home at all.

He supposed he should visit Sarah's grave as well. He didn't really care to visit his father's, wasn't sure he'd ever be ready for that. But Sarah, yes, he definitely wanted to visit her.

Robert took his medication and went to the shower. He didn't spend long in there. He put on one of his nicer suits and headed down for breakfast.

Robert made his way slowly down the stairs, peeking into the dining room. He saw Katie and Andy sat at the table, talking with Diane and quietly made his way out the front door.

He walked over to the cafe, ordering himself a large coffee and picking up a bouquet of flowers before making his way to the cemetery.

He walked slowly, gathering his thoughts, trying not to break down. He couldn't show weakness, not here.

Robert found his mother's gravestone quickly and placed the bouquet on the ground, touching his hand to the stone reverently. He missed her so much. Not a day went by that he didn't think of her and wonder how much differently his life could have turned out if he hadn't lost her.

There was no one else there. Just him and his mum. He could feel the tears rolling down his face. "Mum," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I miss you," he added.

He sat on the damp ground and just started talking, telling her everything that had happened to him since he'd lost her. About his father's betrayal, about life on the streets, each and every moment that she had missed, and he found himself getting lighter as he continued to speak. It was like a heavy load was lifting off his shoulders.

He told her things he would never be able to tell anyone else. He missed her, missed her so much. He needed her. He sat there, crying, letting out all the emotions he had built up. Stay strong, he reminded himself. Don't show weakness, he scolded silently. He started to stand when he saw his dad's grave.

Robert stood and stared at his father's grave for a long moment before he finally moved. Robert left the cemetery and walked up the street, stopping when he came to the cottage he knew his sister owned. He took a deep breath and forced his feet up the path to the door, staring at it nervously.

Every step he took toward the door was painful. He knew he would have to keep his time on the streets a secret from his family. They would never understand what it had been like for him. And he didn't really want them to. He took another deep breath and knocked on the door. What if she didn't want to talk to him? What if she hated him? He was about to walk away, about to leave. He could get out of Emmerdale and she would never have to know. Then he heard the door open.

Robert kept his head lowered, terrified to look at her. He wasn't completely sure what scared him more, a look of hate on her face or one of pity. He didn't think he could handle either one right now.

"Can I help you?" she asked, waiting for him to answer.

Finally, Robert mustered up the courage to meet her gaze. "Hello, Vic," he quietly greeted.

He saw her face light up. "Robert.." her voice soft. "Is it really you?"

Robert nodded slowly. "Yeah." He saw the blur as she rushed forward and instinctively moved back, maintaining a bit of distance between them.

"Rob, you're back! Do you want to come inside?"

He didn't. He didn't want her to hate him, didn't want her pity. "Yeah. Ok," he replied. He also didn't want her to see that something was wrong.

Robert followed his sister into the house. He pasted a smile on his face, all the while carefully keeping that comfortable distance between them.

She pointed to the sofa before telling him to sit. "Do you want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee? Water?"

"No, I'm good, Vic. Thanks." The two sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say to the other.

"We looked for you... when Dad died. He would have wanted you to be there," Vic blurted out nervously.

Robert offered a weak smile. "I think we both know that's not true," he countered.

"You're wrong, Robert. Dad regretted sending you away. He tried everything to find you," she told him earnestly.

"Vic, I know dad didn't love me as much as you and Andy. I know that," he told her.

"He may not have shown it but he did, Rob," Vic replied.

"Can we... can we not talk about him?" Robert asked, feeling his anxiety rise.

"I'm just glad you're finally back," Vic said firmly. "Andy and Diane will be, too."

"I'm actually staying in the B&B. Since when did Diane own it? Last time I heard she was running the pub," Robert asked.

"Diane sold her share of the pub a few years ago," Vic answered, "and used the money to buy into the B&B."

Robert nodded slowly. "What else has changed?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I work at the pub as a chef. I um.. .have a serious boyfriend. Adam. He's amazing," Vic said with excitement.

"How serious is serious?" Robert asked. He didn't want Vic's heart to be broken. She is his younger sister. He's sworn to protect her. He needs to protect her.

"Um we've been seeing each other for a while. Is there anyone in your life? You've been gone for years," Vic asked. Panic rose in Robert. He tried to look normal but his mind was conflicted. He could tell her the truth, tell her everything.

"Nope. No one special in my life. I went to London and focused on work. Kept to myself," he said, taking a sigh of relief. She can't know. No one can know.

"I'm meeting Adam at the pub for Tea. Why don't you join us?" Vic asked.

The pub: Too public, too many people. If he says no she'll know something is up. Drinks. Temptation. "Yeah. Ok. Can't wait to meet serious boyfriend Adam," he said, wishing he didn't. Yet Vic smiling was all he wanted to see. Maybe a second chance in Emmerdale is exactly what he needed after all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Aaron closed the hood of the car he had spent most of the morning working on and headed into the office for a brew. He nodded at Cain as he sat down with his cup in his hand, pausing to take a sip before looking up. "Car's finally ready," he stated with a smirk. "I give it a week before Jimmy's bringing it back when the fan belt finally snaps," he joked.

Cain smirked at his nephew. Jimmy King's car was something of the talk of the garage most days. The thing was hanging together with chewing gum and a prayer, but Jimmy wouldn't hear any talk of junking the old rust bucket. He'd had the thing since he was just old enough to drive and wouldn't listen to any talk of needing to replace it with something reliable.

"Oh we also need to get some more milk," Aaron added.

After the trial Aaron moved in with Cain. He felt safe there, felt protected. It was only meant to be for a short while but he just ended up staying. He loved his mum, of course he did, but he couldn't stay at the pub. It was always full of people, people he didn't know. He didn't feel safe there.

"Well, finish changing the spark plugs on the car over there then you can go on a lunch break and buy some more milk. Now go on. Get on with it. Don't pay you to stand around," Cain remarked with a smirk.

"You don't really pay me at all," Aaron replied.

"I'm the landlord. I take the rent and leave you with whatever's left. Now go on. Spark plugs."

Aaron huffed, there was nothing more tedious than spark plugs. First you had to remove each plug and examine it to see whether it could be salvaged or if it needed to be replaced. Then you had to painstakingly clean each plug and reinsert them. Any plugs that were damaged had to be replaced. It was a job that had most mechanics pulling their hair out.

But Aaron wasn't most mechanics. He enjoyed the solitude jobs like this offered him. He preferred to keep to himself whenever possible. He just didn't trust people easily. He had his family, and he had his best mate, Adam. He didn't need anyone else.

His life was good now. He had a job that he enjoyed and he knew most people in the Village. He didn't need a bunch of strangers mucking things up for him. It may not seem ideal to most people who didn't know him, but it suited Aaron.

He finished with the spark plugs and took a walk around the village, reminding himself to get milk at the cafe. He walked in and luckily there wasn't many people there so he ordered straight away.

"Two bacon butties, one with brown sauce, one with red, and two coffees to go. Thanks, Bob." He might as well get Cain's lunch whilst he was here.

"Hey, you're close to Victoria right? Sugden?" Brenda asked, appearing from the stock cupboard.

"Um, Vic, yeah why?" Aaron asked, bit unsure of what was going on.

"Word is her brother Robert has returned to the village," Brenda happily gossiped. "Is it true?"

"I wouldn't know, haven't talked to Vic today. But maybe you should keep that," he pointed at her nose, "out of other people's business."

"Order's up," Bob shouted, defusing the situation. Aaron grabbed the bag, throwing a tenner on the counter and walked out.

Aaron walked down the street from the cafe to the garage, waving to Laurel and Ashley as he passed them. He may not be a very religious person, but he liked the local Vicar. The man seemed to really care about the Villagers, whether they frequented his services or not.

He arrived at the garage and quickly placed the milk carton in the fridge. Aaron took his butty out of the bag before tossing the bag to his uncle. Cain grinned as he unwrapped his meal, taking a big bite out of it before cursing as the piping hot bacon burned the roof of his mouth. Aaron couldn't keep the grin contained. "Oi! Not one word, you," Cain grumbled, quickly sipping some water to cool his mouth.

"Anyway, after this you can service that car and tires need changing on that one," he paused, pointing at the cars before adding, "then you can go. It's a Sunday go into town."

Aaron gave him a confused look, why was Cain being so nice?, but didn't question it. He could be finished in a couple of hours and meet Adam for a pint. "Mm cool," Aaron said, shrugging.

Aaron lost himself to the job at hand as he worked on the first car, tuning out the rest of the world, his focus locked on the job before him. He knew he was good at his job, and he knew, even if Cain rarely said it, that his uncle was proud of him.

He examined the car, trying to figure out what the problem was. He mentally checked off what it wasn't as he worked, narrowing down the possibilities until he was finally able to pinpoint and fix the problem. It never failed to give Aaron a sense of accomplishment when he was able to work out solutions to problems that tended to stump most people. It was a feeling he'd experienced frequently since moving in with Cain, and it was a feeling he wouldn't give up without a fight.

Finishing everything up, he wipes his grease stained hands on his overalls and heads home after receiving a quick nod of the head from Cain.

He texted Adam asking if he wanted to grab a pint before he got in the shower to look at least half decent for if he does go out later.

Aaron stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his torso before walking back to his room and rummaging through his closet for something to wear. He pulled out his favorite hoodie and a pair of jeans and dressed quickly. This was just a pint with Adam, not some big date, he thought to himself as he headed down the stairs.

He got to the pub and saw Adam sitting at their usual table. He quickly sat next to him. "Where's Vic?" he asked.

Adam shrugged. "She'll be here soon," he answered casually.

As if on cue she walked through the doors of the pub, a tall blond man just behind her. They both went to the bar, Vic grabbing a white wine whilst the man bought a fizzy orange.

She walked over casual as ever, however the man walked cautiously. "Oh by the way, this is Robert, my brother."

So it was true. Sugden was back. God he was handsome, Aaron thought to himself. Those eyes.. he realized he was staring when he felt Adam kick him. "Sorry.. Um it's Aaron. Aaron Dingle."

Robert nodded to the man shyly as he sat down next to Vic, his hands fiddling nervously on the table as he chanced a furtive glance around the bar. Once his perusal was over, Robert huddled close to the table and turned his glass round in circles, listening to Vic as she caught Adam up on her day.

Aaron took the opportunity to admire the man sitting opposite him. He found himself counting the infinite freckles dotting his face. He took in the windblown blond hair and those gorgeous eyes and was spellbound.

It was only Adam's second kick under the table that broke his daze, and he realized that Adam and Vic were staring at him, But then he noticed the discomfort on Robert's face and frowned.

"Go on then," Robert said quietly. "Have your say. Tell me what a horrible person I am."

Aaron was flustered. What should he say? Should he just admit to this man he found him attractive? "Horrible person isn't exactly what I would say," Aaron said with a smirk. God what was he doing? He didn't even know if Robert liked men that way.

Robert's eyes widened in understanding and the color faded from his face as he scrambled up and away, knocking the chair down in his haste. This wasn't happening!, he thought frantically. He wasn't that person anymore! "This... this was a.... a mistake," he uttered breathlessly before fleeing the pub.

Aaron looked on confused. He looked at Vic and Adam who had the same expression. Vic got up and followed Robert who was already halfway out the door.

What is going on? Aaron thought to himself. Did he say something to offend?

Aaron looked to Adam for help in understanding what just happened. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know, Mate. I don't really know anything about Vic's brother other than he left the village when he was still a teen," Adam answered.

Confusion ran through his body. This man was sure to keep Aaron on his toes.

 

 

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Robert lurched up the stairs of the Bed and Breakfast, not even hearing Diane's alarmed voice as he dashed into his room, locking the door behind him before he moved to the far corner, back against the wall as his legs finally gave out and he sank to the floor, pulling his knees in and hugging himself tightly, finally letting the tears start to fall.

He rocked back and forth, letting the darkness take over, memories of the past resurfacing. He couldn't be with a man. He just couldn't. He reached for the pills. Maybe they would take his mind off this.

His hands shook as he dry swallowed the pills. He craved a drink right now. He didn't care what it would do to him in that moment. If he had access to alcohol right now, he wouldn't even hesitate.

He heard Diane knocking on the door. He didn't have the energy to deal with her tonight. He crawled to the bed and tried to shut the shouting and knocking of the door out.

He buried himself under the covers and closed his eyes, gasping out a pained moan as his memories washed over and through him. He could almost feel them, strangers' hands, unwanted caresses that he'd tried to numb away with whatever cheap alcohol he could get his hands on. But he didn't have that crutch anymore. He didn't have anything left to hold back the tide.

He could feel the memories of their lips on his. He could hear their voices. He needed to block all of this out. He wanted to wipe away all of the thoughts that plagued his mind but he couldn't.

He couldn't do anything but suffer through each and every agonizing memory and wish, over and over again, that the doctors hadn't saved him, that they'd just let him die. But no, Robert couldn't even do that much right.

He felt himself slowly falling into a fitful sleep. Most nights he wished he would fall asleep and never wake. This was one of those nights. His eyes felt heavy and he could feel himself closing them.

Robert didn't hear the click of the lock, or hear the door opening. His first bit of awareness was the bed dipping and then someone's hand on his shoulder and he cried out in protest, swinging his arm wildly, connecting solidly with whomever was on the bed.

He kept hitting. He couldn't stop. He heard the persons voice, heard her scream. He stopped, looking at her. "God, Vic. I'm so sorry. Fuck. Vic. I'm really sorry," he sobbed.

And then there was a frenzy at the door as Diane and Adam came in, alerted by Victoria's screams. They stood in the doorway for a moment, stunned. Adam looked at Vic, his face tightening in anger before he lunged at Robert. He pulled back his arm, ready to punch, when he was stopped by Aaron, who'd entered unnoticed. "Adam, mate, don't. Look at him. He didn't mean to hit her. He was having a panic attack. You know that. God knows you've had enough experience dealing with me and mine. Even taken a punch more than once, haven't ya?"

Robert ran to the corner of the room cowering from everyone. He couldn't stand their staring. Tears rolling down his face. He could hear them talking but couldn't focus on what they were saying.

He cowered in even more when Aaron moved closer, relieved when the man stopped, leaving a healthy distance between them as he knelt down. "It's ok, Robert," he said soothingly. "Everyone knows you didn't mean to hit Vic. It's ok."

He couldn't handle it. He felt so alone even though there were people all around. "Need water," he murmured hoarsely.

Andy came rushing in, looking around and trying to understand what was going on. "Diane?" he asked. He looked to the woman expectantly before his eyes fell on Robert. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"Andy, don't worry, it'll be ok. Robert is having a panic attack," Diane replied in a hurry as she walked out of the room to get water.

Andy looked on in horror as he saw his lost brother had returned.

Robert turned his body away from everyone, wishing they wouldn't look at him as if he was broken glass. He wasn't broken just a bit damaged.

Andy moved quickly toward Robert, overwhelmed by the fact that his brother was really here. He and dad had searched for so long, both desperate to get Robert back home. He couldn't believe that finally, after all this time, he could begin to fix what had been broken so many years ago. He came to an abrupt stop when he ran into Aaron's muscular frame.

"Did you not hear Diane? He's in the middle of a panic attack. Give him his space," Aaron ordered quietly, keeping himself between Robert and the rest of the room.

Robert was thankful in this moment that Aaron was here. A man he had met for only a few minutes was more helpful than anyone else. His breathing still hitched. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and he wanted to escape. "Leave. Please, everyone go. Please leave me," he sobbed, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Aaron shooed several obviously reluctant Sugdens and one Barton out the door, taking the glass of water from Diane, closing the door between them. He moved slowly toward Robert, careful not to crowd him as he offered him the glass. "I'll make sure they don't bother you again before you're ready," Aaron said softly, as he edged backward toward the door.

 

"Thank you" Robert whispered with a small smile, to which Aaron replied with a smile back.

"Try to get some sleep. It helps," Aaron said as he wrote something on a piece of paper. "If you ever want to talk you have my number. I mean, I'm no psychologist but I can try to help," he told Robert, waving the paper before setting it down on the night stand.

"Aaron, I'm sorry, about what happened in the pub, I just...." Robert started.

"It's okay, mate. We can talk when you're feeling calmer," Aaron assured Robert. "You just concentrate on you, yeah? Everything else will work itself out."

They exchanged one last smile and Aaron left.

Robert felt somewhat calmer now. He also felt tired, his energy levels so low. He got up and went to the bed to let sleep take over.

 

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Morning light seeped through the window and Aaron woke. He checked his phone to see if he had any messages but he didn't.  
He got out of bed slowly, still feeling like he hadn't slept.

He dressed in his typical hoodie and jeans and prepared himself for another day at the garage. He found his thoughts wandering back to Robert. He didn't know what exactly had happened to the man, but he knew, judging by the severity of his panic attack last night, that whatever it was, it was bad.

He truly hoped Robert would take him up on his offer to talk. He wanted to get to know the man better. Even if friendship is all he could ever have with Robert, he'd take that over not being part of his life at all.

He finished getting dressed and went down for breakfast. "Oi. Go down the cafe and get us some breakfast, then meet me at the garage, " Cain shouted before heading out the door.

He had a quick brew before putting on his shoes and heading to the cafe to get bacon butties. He hoped he could talk to Vic on his way and see how Robert was.

Aaron stopped into the cafe and was surprised to find Robert sat there, picking at his breakfast. He walked over and offered a smile as he greeted the man. "You look a lot better this morning," he said quietly. "Glad you're feeling better."

He patted Robert's shoulder as he moved to the counter to order breakfast. He waited patiently for his order.

"You can sit here while you wait," Robert offered. "If you want."

Aaron gave a small smile and sat down. "How you feeling? Yesterday must have taken a lot of energy out of you," Aaron asked his voice soft.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep that well," Robert replied and Aaron cold tell by looking at the man that he spoke the truth. He had dark circles under his eyes.

"Ahh, hence the coffee," Aaron joked, making the other man smile.

Robert hesitated for a moment before he asked, rather timidly, "Vic said you work at the garage. Do you know if they're hiring?"

Aaron grinned. "You're a mechanic, are ya?"

Robert frowned slightly. "Well, not officially, but I do know my way around an engine."

"Well, Cain is always going on about how an extra pair of hands could help. If ya want, I'm heading over there now. You could come with me. I can even put in a good word," Aaron replied.

"Yeah that sounds good." He ate the rest of his toast as Aaron collected his order and they headed to the garage.

"Oi, what took you so long?" Cain shouted. "I'm starving," he added on.

"Cain, can I have a quick word?" Aaron said with a nod of his head. They walked slightly away from Robert.

"What do ya want?"

"You know you said we need a spare pair of hands? I think I found one. He could really use a job. Please, Cain?" Aaron asked pleading with his uncle.

"Does he know his way around an engine? He looks like a business man."

"Yes he knows his way around an engine."

"Fine. Sugden can have a job. Tell him he can start now. I have 4 cars that need fixing up by the end of the day," Cain said as he walked away.

Aaron was smiling as he walked back over to Robert. "You're hired," he said. "We have til the end of the day to get these four cars done."

Robert smiled back gratefully. "Thanks, Aaron."

"No worries, mate," Aaron replied. "What are friends for?"

Robert's smile brightened. "Is that what we are?" he asked. "I don't think I've ever had one before," he admitted.

Aaron realised that Robert said that full of sadness as if he's been alone for his entire life. "Well, now you do. So you are going to have to get used to this mug," Aaron joked, making both men laugh. Seeing Robert smile was a gift, the way it light up his whole face. "Right, we have work to do so there is a spare pair of overalls in the back of the office," Aaron told Robert.

Robert nodded and went into the back room, finding the coveralls and putting them on. He came back out and got started on one of the cars. He raised the hood and began to check things over, looking for any obvious signs of what the problem must be. When his first perusal didn't turn up the problem, Robert began to look deeper. It didn't take him long to figure out the issue. Luckily it was a pretty easy fix, all in all. Robert replaced the dodgy part and was soon shutting the hood.

Aaron kept stealing glances, telling himself it was just to make sure Robert wasn't lying about knowing what he was doing. But Aaron wasn't really fooling himself. He couldn't help it that he was drawn to the blond. There was just something about the man that had grabbed hold of him, and Aaron didn't think he wanted it to let go. He wanted to keep Robert close to him.

"One car down, three to go," he heard Robert joke. He laughed. God, why was this man so amazing.

"If it only takes us four hours to do all these what do we do for the rest of he day?" he heard Robert ask curiously.

"Well usually I just sort of stand around and make it look as if I'm doing something. Or Cain will send me home to grab things for him," Aaron told him.

"Wait, home? As in you live with the boss?" He could tell Robert was puzzled.

"The boss is my uncle. I decided to live with him when I was younger. It's complicated." He didn't want Robert to know about his past, not yet anyway.

Robert nodded thoughtfully before turning his attention to the second car. Aaron abandoned his own car as he stood watching Robert at work. He admired how the sun hit the man's hair, making it shimmer like gold. Even from this distance he could lose himself in Robert's eyes.

He shook himself, turning his focus back to the car in front of him. He couldn't help laughing when he realized it was Jimmy's car. He laughed even louder as Robert pulled out the broken fan belt.

"Have fun with this one mate," Aaron said through his laughing as he pointed to the fan belt. He could tell Robert didn't understand, but God he was cute when he was puzzled. He walked away laughing. He got back to his car and admired Robert from afar.

Robert shrugged and replaced the fan belt. He felt Aaron's eyes on him, and struggled not to react to it. Aaron had said he was a friend. Robert didn't want to ruin that. He shouldn't take out his hang ups on Aaron. It wasn't the other man's fault that Robert was a complete mess. He would just have to make certain that Aaron understood that friends was all they would ever be.

Robert gave his car one last glance over before closing the hood. "I get that it's good for business and all, if the customer's car constantly needs repair, but what exactly did this bloke do to make you angry with him?" Robert asked.

"What do you mean? Nobody's mad at Jimmy," Aaron said. Now it was his turn to be confused.

"Well, why else would you let a person continue to drive such a lemon?" Robert asked. "I mean, if he were a mate, you'd have made him get a new car, right?"

"Aah, that's true but we have told him to get a new car and he won't," Aaron told Robert.

"Ooh, well this guy sounds like a right idiot," Robert said.

"Well, you're not wrong." He saw Robert smile. He reminded himself that friends were all they were but that smile was so pure.

Once the last car had been fixed, Aaron turned to Robert. "You ready for lunch?" he asked.

Robert shrugged and nodded. "Sure, why not."

"Let's go by the pub. Marlon will fix us up," Aaron suggested.

Robert agreed and Aaron led the way to the pub, making small talk as they went. He offered tidbits about people that Robert remembered from his childhood. They reached the pub and went inside. Robert followed Aaron up to the bar.

Aaron smiled at the woman behind the counter. "Hi, Mum. We'll take, " Aaron glanced over at Robert. "Burger and chips okay?" he asked. Robert smiled and nodded. "Two burger and chips and 2 pints please, Mum."

"Make mine a lemonade," Robert requested quietly. Chas nodded and went to pour their drinks after getting their food order in to Marlon.

"Does your family own every business in town or.." Robert joked as they sat down. Marlon brought over their meals and left them to it.

"So, how was the first day?" Aaron asked, making sure that it wasn't too stressful for Robert.

"Mm... yeah, it was good. Cain seems grumpy but the job pays so.."

"Well, you're not wrong. He is always grumpy so don't worry about." They talked back and forth for a while as they ate.

Halfway through their meal, Robert glanced at his watch and excused himself, making his way to the bog. He stood by the sink and reached into his pocket, pulling out a baggie and sifting through the pills inside before pulling one out. He put the pill on his tongue and turned on the faucet, cupping water in his palms and washing the pill down. Robert sighed softly and placed the baggie back in his pocket. He stood there a bit longer, just staring at his face in the mirror.

He walked back in and finished his meal. Both men had had a good time.

"I should go. It's getting late. Need sleep if we are going to be working on cars all day tomorrow," Robert said, excusing himself once more.

"I know how you feel. I'm knackered," Aaron replied.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert walked back to the B&B slowly. The day had taken more out of him than he wanted to admit. He still hadn't gotten used to how tired even the smallest task could make him. It was hard to believe, sometimes. He was only 25, but he often had the stamina of an 80 year old.

The doctors had warned him that this was the reality he had to live with now, but he'd brushed it off, hadn't believed it could be true. And even though he knew that the choices that had led to this reality had mostly been his own, he still blamed his father and his brother for what had happened.

If they hadn't sent him packing, he'd never have been in a position to have to make the choices he had. If they hadn't chucked him out, he wouldn't have gone through years of hell. But the past was in the past. Jack Sugden was dead. And Robert had already decided when he made the decision to follow doctor's orders and move back to the village, that he would steer clear of Andy. It was the only way he'd ever be able to live here now.

He walked into his room, avoiding Diane as he wasn't in the mood for a chat. Stripping down and getting into his warm, fluffy, fleece pajamas, he walked into his bathroom and splashed cold water onto his face, trying to keep himself awake, not ready to lay down with his thoughts.

Robert opened the pill bottle sitting on the sink, and shook a pill out into his palm. He stared down at it begrudgingly for a moment, before exhaling deeply and putting the pill in his mouth, dry swallowing it. He didn't think he'd ever truly get used to the regimen, but it had become second nature to him already, deeply ingrained in his routine.

But that didn't mean he had to like it. He hated everything about it, but he knew he couldn't change it. He pondered whether he should get something to eat before he went to bed, but the thought of having to sit through an endless string of questions deterred him from that idea.

He wasn't up for what would surely become a grilling of where he'd been and what he'd been doing all these years. He wasn't up for telling them, and frankly, he didn't think they'd really be up for hearing it. Some things should remain private, and this was definitely one of those things.

He laid down on the bed letting the darkness take over, his eyes closing and his mind beginning to race.

He understood that his family wanted to know what happened to him all those years ago, but the memories were too painful. He couldn't resurface them, couldn't and wouldn't.

Robert laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting his mind wander back over the events of the day. He'd actually enjoyed working with Aaron. They had settled into a comfortable rhythm with each other. It had certainly helped that Aaron hadn't flirted with him today.

Objectively, Robert could admit that the man was... pleasant to look at. But he'd never admit to anything more than that. That part of his life was over and he never wanted to have to think about it again. He just wanted to live a normal, quiet life. He would enjoy being mates with Aaron, but that is all it would ever be. Robert didn't have room in his new life for anything more than that.

He felt himself drifting into sleep and let it take over. Tomorrow was another day. Another day of work and another day of wishing he could forget the past.

He could hear people downstairs, laughing and chatting. He wished he could just shut the world out.

He was just drifting off, when he heard a knock at his door. He frowned to himself and kept quiet, hoping they would think he was asleep and leave him alone.

"Robert?" came Diane's voice, as she knocked again. "Aren't you coming down for dinner? Vic and Andy are hoping to visit with you."

He couldn't bring himself to talk to her. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He loved his family, he really did, but they wouldn't understand. He stayed quiet, hoping she would just go away and leave him alone.

"Rob. Come on. We have pie," he heard Vic pipe up. He stayed quiet.

"Rob. We know you're there. Will you please come eat with us? As a family?"

Family. What does that even mean? Robert didn't know anymore.

He sighed as he dragged himself out of bed and trudged to the door, opening it a crack. "I'm really tired," he told Diane and Vic through the crack in the doorway. "I was just falling asleep, in fact. Maybe tomorrow?" he suggested.

Diane and Vic both frowned. "It's barely 6, Robert. How can you possibly be tired so early?" Vic asked. "And besides, you shouldn't go to bed on an empty stomach."

He could see the pity in their eyes. He could tell they wanted to talk about yesterday but he wasn't ready.

"It's just been a long day, Vic. I really need to sleep," he replied.

He could tell both Diane and Vic were upset but he just couldn't do it. He needed to be alone.

"I thought you came home to be with family," Vic said, the upset clear in her voice. "What was the point if you're just going to shut us out?"

Robert huffed in frustration. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, Vic. Maybe you're right. Maybe coming back here was a mistake."

Vic's eyes widened in shock. "No! That's not... we don't want you to leave, Robert. We just got you back! We just want to spend time with you!"

He couldn't take anymore. He shut and locked the door. He went to the bed and pulled the duvet over himself. He heard Diane and Vic shout, begging him to talk to them. He felt the tears roll down his face.

Robert grabbed his phone, scrolling through til he found Dr. Jonas' number and quickly hit dial. He listened as it rang, exhaling with relief when the man picked up. "I can't do this, Doc," he said frantically. "They're doing my head in!"

"Robert?" Dr Jonas asked, trying to understand the situation. "What's wrong?"

"They won't leave me alone," Robert whimpered. "They expect me to just fit into their lives like I never left, but I can't! Why can't they just leave me alone?"

"Robert. I need you to do those breathing exercises we talked about in our last session. In through the mouth for four seconds and breathe out through the nose for eight," he heard Dr Jonas say and started to breathe. After doing so for about a minute, he heard the doctor speak up. "Robert, can you tell me what happened?"

"Yesterday, I checked in to the bed and breakfast. Turns out my stepmother owns it. Anyway, I met up with my sister Vic and her boyfriend at the pub. I didn't drink, Doc. Just ordered a lemonade. But anyway, Vic's boyfriend's best mate was there and he started flirting with me and I lost it. I ran back to my room and locked myself in. I finally calmed down enough to fall asleep and then... then..." his breathing started to speed up again.

"Robert it's ok. Just breathe." He listened and did what Dr Jonas said.

"I..I went back to my room and went to the bed to get some sleep when I felt someone touch me. I panicked and lashed out..I thought..I thought I was back in that place." He paused for a moment. "It was my sister. I hit my sister. I kept hitting her until I heard her scream. Then everyone was in my room at once. Vic, Adam, Diane, Andy. Everyone. They were just staring at me. Adam went to hit me and I would have let him but Aaron.. he stopped him. I went to the corner and I couldn't breathe." He stopped, feeling the tears coming.

"You said you locked yourself in your room?" Dr Jonas asked. "So you're saying your sister let herself into your locked room and touched you while you were sleeping?"

"Yes," Robert whimpered softly.

"Robert, you had a perfectly understandable reaction to a situation in which it sounds like your sister was very much in the wrong. I take it you haven't told your family yet?" she asked. "You do realize that you're going to have to tell them, don't you?"

Robert whimpered again.

"Robert, they can't help you if they don't know what's going on," Dr Jonas pointed out.

"I'm not ready to tell them, Doc," Robert confessed brokenly. "I don't want them to know."

"Robert the more time they're in the dark, the more you are going to push them away. I understand it will be hard to tell them, but they have a right to know. Now go get some sleep. I'll contact you in the morning and set up an appointment," the doctor said calmly. Robert agreed with her and said his good night, finally letting sleep take over.

 

Robert woke the next morning and jumped in the shower. He dressed for work and then headed downstairs. He wandered into the dining room and settled himself at the table silently, deliberately not meeting anyone's eyes.

He wasn't sure that this was a good idea, but if Dr Jonas thought he should try, then he would do as the Doc asked. The woman hadn't been wrong yet.

"Good morning, Robert," Diane greeted, delighted when she saw her step son seated at the table.

He greeted Diane with a smile, trying to follow the advice of Dr Jonas. She sat down next to him and asked him about last night. He took a deep breath.

"Last night, I had a panic attack of sorts. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to sit and talk with you guys. I'm really sorry, Diane. It's just since... since the days where I was away they happen a lot more. I didn't mean to upset you or hurt you." He couldn't look her in the eyes as he told his story. He knew it wasn't the whole story or very detailed but it was enough for now, he hoped.

"I'm sorry if you feel we've been pestering you. We just... we missed you. And we're just so happy that you're finally home, and we just want to be able to catch up with you. We want to know everything," Diane explained. "We want you to be happy."

"I'm ok, Diane. You don't have to worry about me. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a long time now," he pointed out. "I should get to work. I'll see you at Tea, yeah?" Robert said, offering Diane a small smile.

"That would be lovely," Diane replied with a smile as Robert walked off and headed to work.

He checked the time and saw he had enough time to get some coffee before heading to the garage. He walked into the cafe and saw Aaron.

"Hey mate," Aaron called over his shoulder, obviously noticing Robert.

"Hey. Great minds think alike," Robert replied, pointing to the coffees and walking to the counter.

"That they do. I've got to run this," Aaron started, pointing to the bacon butty and coffee, "to Cain, otherwise he'll be grumpier than yesterday. I'll see you at the garage?" Aaron said, but it sounded more like a question.

Robert smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Just grabbing coffee and I'll be there."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert sat in the dining room of the B&B, only half listening to the chatter around him. He poked at his food, moving it around his plate, but very little of it actually being eaten. It wasn't that his step mother was a bad cook, or that he didn't have an appetite, but his entire plate seemed to be made up of fried foods, which were pretty high on his 'foods to be avoided' list.

He was just about to head out and get something..less fried until he heard his sister call him from the other side of the room.

"What Vic?" he asked as she walked towards him.

"You, me, pub, what do you say?" she asked. Robert thought about it.

"If you buy me an o.j. and a salad I'm in," he replied with a smile, making her squeal with excitement.

Robert followed his sister to the pub, faltering slightly when he saw Adam seated at a table, his smile growing when he saw Vic enter the pub. "You didn't mention Adam would be here," he commented softly, glancing accusingly at his sister.

Vic frowned up at him. "Be nice," she countered. "It's not like you're going to be the third wheel. I wouldn't do that to you." She pointed to the bar where Aaron stood, taking the pints from his mother. "Aaron's here, too."

Robert stopped in his tracks.

Be normal this time, he told himself.

"Rob? You ok?" he heard Vic ask as she moved towards the table.

"Yeah, just thinking about salads," he joked and sat down at the table.

"Oh. I didn't know what salad you wanted so I just told Marlon any would do," Aaron spoke up as he handed up the beers and giving Robert his orange juice.

"My.. Salad... " Robert said confused.

"Vic texted.. said you wanted a salad.. " Aaron replied.

"Oh right, yeah.. Thanks."

Robert took a small bite of his salad, listening to Adam and Aaron talk about some event that had happened the weekend before. Aaron was grinning widely as he told Vic and Robert how Adam had slipped and fallen face first into a mud puddle. Adam just blushed and tried to wave it off as no big deal.

Robert wondered what it must be like to be that close to anyone. To have a whole history of stories to choose from to entertain people with. He'd never had that, doubted he ever would. He took a sip of his orange juice as Adam began to tell a story about Aaron and a bacon butty that had Vic in tears she was laughing so hard.

 

Robert just sat there a smile plastered on his face. No he didn't need to be close to anyone. He didn't need anyone else. All people did was hurt him.

"What do you think Robert?" he heard Aaron ask.

"Hmm sorry I didn't hear," Robert half lied.

"Marlon was wondering if you liked the salad," Aaron replied, his voice like velvet.

No. No Robert. No falling for anyone.

"Umm yeah. It's nice," was all Robert managed to get out before a short male walked up to their table.

"Aaron, c'mon, mate, I need ya," the stranger said, tugging on Aaron's arm. Robert frowned, glancing at the man. Who did this guy think he was?

Aaron glanced up at the bloke and arched a brow. "What is it this time, Finn?" he asked with a grin.

"Party in Hotten," Finn answered. "Please, Aaron? I can't go alone. Besides, you know we had fun last time."

Robert's frown deepened.

"Seriously, Finn? You do realize that I was bladdered, yeah? And we've been over this. It's never gonna happen again." Robert shifted in his chair.

Suddenly, all Robert wanted was the sanctuary of his room at the B&B. He didn't want to be sitting here in the middle of all this awkwardness.

"Oh please, Aaron? No one will come. Not even Tracey. Please. I won't sleep with ya this time." Robert heard Finn say.

He was disgusted. He couldn't let Aaron go with him. Not because Robert liked him. Of course he didn't like him, not like that, anyway. Finn couldn't be trusted. It's not safe for Aaron to go.

"Finn, listen, I'm not really in the mood to party. Plus I have work and I can't fix cars whilst drunk," Aaron told Finn, who was still not taking no for an answer.

"That and if you turn up for work hungover, Cain will not be best pleased," Robert spoke up.

Finn turned to Robert. "I'm sorry, was I talking to you?" he snapped. "No, I was talking to Aaron, so I'll thank you to keep your nose out."

Robert glanced at Vic apologetically before getting up, his salad now forgotten. "I'll you see tomorrow, sis," he said quietly. "Enjoy your party, Aaron." Robert needed to get out of there. He needed to talk to Dr Jonas before he make a complete fool of himself in public again.

"Robert," he heard Vic, Adam and Aaron call out behind him before he heard an angry Aaron yelling at Finn. He ignored them as he left the pub, desperate to reach his sanctuary.

He walked fast towards the B&B, getting his phone out as he walked, before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned quickly, about to react when he heard the man's voice.

"Crap, sorry. Forgot about the not sneaking up on you part. Also sorry about Finn. He can get desperate at times," Aaron explained.

"No its ok. I'm just tired so I was going to head back to the B&B. I'll see you at work?" Robert said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah, course," Aaron answered. He gave Robert's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "If you ever want to talk," he said quietly, "I'm here."

Robert gazed into Aaron's eyes, searching for something. "Maybe someday I'll take you up on that," he finally answered, stepping back. "Night, Aaron."

He walked into the B&B said a quick goodnight to Diane and went to his room.

He locked the door and dressed into his pajamas. He sat on the bed and pulled up his contacts list on his phone scrolling until he reached Dr. Jones.

The phone range for a couple seconds before he heard the familiar voice.

"Hello, Dr Jonas here," she said.

"Doc, it's Robert Sugden," he started. "It's starting to happen and I hate it. I'm starting to get close to other people. I can't handle it," he added.

"Can you explain it to me, Robert?" she asked.

Robert sighed, trying to make it make sense. "It's Aaron..."

"What about Aaron?" she asked, needing him to elaborate.

"I'm starting to.... like him," Robert confessed reluctantly.

"Well, yes, you did mention that you were becoming friends with him. It's perfectly natural to like your friends, Robert," she joked.

"No, Doc. I'm starting to... like him," Robert stressed. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to reign in his emotions.

He didn't want this. He shouldn't want this, he told himself.

"Robert, listen to me. It is perfectly natural. Even after what happened in the past, you are allowed to like people in that way," the doctor tried to explain.

"But I shouldn't. I don't want to like people that way. I don't want to like men that way," he protested, the tears rolling down his face.

"Robert, please just listen and if you take anything from this, let it be this", she started. "Love is love and you cant help who you fall for." He understood what the Doctor meant.

Robert hung up the phone and sat there quietly, letting the tears continue to fall. When he finally moved, he got shakily to his feet, wiping the tears from him eyes.

He was terrified, but he'd made his decision. He was going to take a huge chance. If this ended badly, he'd just leave again. He'd find somewhere else to live. And he'd bury this part of himself so deep, it would never be a problem again.

He changed into a pair of jeans and a threw on a sweater before he left his sanctuary and trekked to Aaron's house.

He stood on the stoop for a moment, wiping his sweaty palms before he sucked up enough courage to knock.

When Aaron opened the door, Robert searched his eyes again before he closed his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his lips softly to Aaron's.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert pulled away slowly, suddenly nervous. What if Aaron didn't want Robert kissing him? What if Aaron hadn't been flirting with him the first time they met? What if Robert had imagined the whole thing?

Yet when he looked at Aaron's face all the doubt washed away. He saw Aaron's smile. He knew he wasn't imagining it.

Robert stood there for a moment, losing himself in Aaron's eyes. A person could drown in those eyes, Robert thought, smiling to himself.

He saw Aaron leaning in and their lips connected once again. The kiss was soft and short.

Both men wore smiles on their faces.

"Aaron, who's at the door?" Cain called from somewhere inside. Robert, startled, took a step backward, realizing that, while they were standing on the doorstep, it was still somewhat public. He waited for fear or shame to kick in, was shocked when neither did. He found that, for the first time in his life, he didn't care who knew. Maybe Doc was right. It was time to tell his family.

"Just Robert. We're going to get a drink," Aaron shouted back. Robert stepped out of the door and waited for Aaron to follow. They walked in silence for a moment, not an awkward one, but a comfortable one.

Robert paused as they passed the B&B. "Aaron..." he said hesitantly. If he was going to do this, if he was going to give this honesty thing a real go, Aaron should really know what he was getting himself into. "Do you mind... could we maybe talk first, before we go to the pub? There are some things you need to know."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah. What's up?" he said softly.

"Not here," Robert said calmly, and walked into the B&B as Aaron followed. They walked up to Robert's room silence taking over.

Robert sat on the bed, legs crossed, Aaron sitting opposite him.

"What's wrong, Robert?" Aaron asked.

"There are things you should know about me. About what happened to me," Robert started. feeling the tears starting to form.

He glanced at Aaron silently for a moment. "My dad kicked me out when I was 15," Robert started. "I lived on the streets of London for 4 years." He stole little glances at Aaron, checking his reaction to the revelation. "It wasn't easy, surviving that way. I started drinking, heavily. By the time I was 18, my liver was failing. I ended up in hospital. They said if I didn't get a new one, I'd die. I had to give up the drinking and get tested for over a year to prove I was really sober before they would even put me on the donor list."

He didn't dare look at Aaron. He didn't want to see the look of disappointment or pity.

"I.. I finally had a transplant after a year and a bit of waiting." He paused, reaching and grabbing his pills. "I have to take these every night. One helps with anxiety and the other helps my body to not reject the new liver." He finally looked at Aaron.

Aaron moved over to the bed, and sat next to Robert, tugging him close, wrapping his arms around him protectively. Aaron leaned in, kissing him again softly. He leaned back, cradling Robert's face with his hands, thumbs tenderly wiping Robert's tears away. "This is why you only drink lemonade and orange juice. And why you wanted that salad the other day." It wasn't a question, just a softly spoken statement of fact.

"I.. I always hide this part of myself away, not letting myself get too close to people. I don't want to be alone anymore," Robert voice croaked. Aaron hugged him tighter, feeling the need to protect Robert.

"You're not alone anymore, Robert. You have me," he offered the man a reassuring smile. "I'm here for you, whatever you need, for as long as you want me around."

Robert nodded into Aaron's shoulder, wrapping his arms around the the other man. "Thank you," Robert said softly. "For not judging me."

Aaron huffed a laugh. "One day soon, we'll sit down and talk about my past," Aaron said soothingly. "I'm the last person who would ever pass judgement on someone else's past."

Robert smiled at Aaron and Aaron gave a soft smile back as well as a quick kiss.

"We could go get those drinks now," Aaron suggested.

"Could.. could we just lay here?" Robert asked, sounding unsure of himself.

"Yeah, we can just lay here," Aaron whispered.

Robert leaned into Aaron's embrace, drawing comfort and strength from the man.

Aaron just held Robert close, his jaw twitching as he thought about the fact that he could have lost the man before he ever had the chance to meet him. Aaron pressed a kiss to the top of Robert's head, one hand rubbing soothingly at Robert's back. "I'm here," he said softly. "I've got you."

 

Robert was suddenly awoken by a knock on the door.

"Rob, you coming down for breakfast?" he heard Diane ask.

Robert shifted slightly, his eyes adjusting to the light. He saw Aaron still asleep. He smiled to himself. For the first time in a long time, Robert felt normal.

"Robert..?" he heard Diane say a little louder.

"Um, no. I'm going to the cafe on the way to work," he replied, trying not to wake Aaron.

Robert climbed carefully out of bed, leaving the still sleeping Aaron there as he went to shower and dress for work. He smiled as he stepped out of the bathroom, seeing Aaron was awake. "Morning, handsome," Robert greeted with a smile.

He walked over to the bed, sitting next to Aaron and leaning down to share a good morning kiss. "Cain isn't going to give you a hard time for staying out all night, is he?" Robert asked.

"Cain won't be bothered so long as I bring him his breakfast," Aaron said, grinning widely. "The man's stomach is like a bottomless pit."

Robert laughed softly before standing back up. "Do you want me to pick up his breakfast so you can run home and change?" Robert asked.

"Yeah, that would be great," Aaron answered. He pulled a tenner from his pocket and offered it to Robert.

"I got this one," Robert grinned, refusing Aaron's money. "How does he want his coffee?"

"Black as sludge," Aaron answered, still grinning. Robert laughed.

"See you at the shop, then?"

"Yeah," Aaron answered. "See you there."

 

Robert ordered breakfast and headed to the garage. He got there and Cain was already looking grumpy.

"I got you breakfast. Aaron won't be long. He just went to get dressed. We got a bit drunk yesterday and he crashed at mine," Robert explained as he handed Cain the food and coffee, hoping he didn't see through the lie.

Cain grunted and pointed to the car in the bay. "Figure out what's wrong with Jimmy's car this time," he ordered, the slightest glimmer of a smirk on his lips as he glanced at the familiar car.

"He's never going to accept reality, is he?" Robert asked, grinning.

"Not til the thing blows up," Cain replied with a laugh. "And maybe not even then."

Robert nodded and approached the car slowly, hoping the thing didn't choose now to blow up. He chuckled to himself and opened the hood, taking a look inside. "Maybe today's the day reality sets in for him, Cain. Radiator's busted, and the fluid's all over everything. It's gonna take days to clean everything out."

Cain frowned and came over to look, cursing under his breath when he saw that, if anything, Robert was understating things. The car was a mess. "Ok, listen, start trying to clean some of the more accessible areas while I go try and talk sense into Jimmy. Though, chances are, he's not going to listen to anything I say. Get Aaron to help you til I get back."

"Speaking of the devil," Robert smirked as he saw Aaron approach.

"Where's he off to?" Aaron asked as he walked closer to Robert.

"Jimmy's car has had it. He's gone to talk some sense into him. But for now we get the fun job of cleaning it," Robert said in a sarcastic tone.

Both of them stood there, staring at each other, minds racing back to last night. Robert planted a kiss on Aaron's lips, who happily kissed back. For a moment they got lost in each other's mouths before Aaron pulled back.

"We.. we should work on this car. Cain'll be back any time now."

Robert groaned unhappily, but stepped away, glancing grumpily back at the car. "This is hopeless," he lamented.

"I know," Aaron agreed, staring down at the mess. "But Jimmy is attached to that car. He's never going to give up hope. Kinda like me, when it comes to you," Aaron teased.

Robert let out a small giggle and blushed.

"I don't know what Jimmy expects us to do. His car is a wreck that can't be fixed," Robert said, hoping his blush would go away.

"Aww... he blushes," Aaron teased, stepping closer to Robert, pressing Robert's body between his and the car and putting his hands on either side of Robert's face. He was about to kiss him, but heard Cain voice and moved away after whispering a seductive "later" into Roberts ear.

Robert blushed even harder and buried his face in the car, rubbing hard at the now hardened sludge covering every inch of the car. At least the tedious job would keep him occupied and give him time to get his emotions back under control.

Aaron just grinned as he worked. He couldn't wait to get Robert alone later. Grinning even wider, Aaron began to whistle as he worked, stealing glances Robert's way.

Minutes later, after a small breakdown from Jimmy about his precious car no longer being able to run, the boys were told to have a lunch break.

They went to the pub. Aaron ordered a salad and lemonade for Robert which earned him a smile.

Robert and Aaron sat a booth near the back room, and Robert took a bite of his salad before he went very still as someone sat beside him.

"So, Robert," Chas said, thumping Robert on the back."My brother tells me you and Aaron got drunk last night and that's why he stayed at yours. So tell me, how did my son get drunk exactly? Because it certainly wasn't here."

Robert swallowed thickly, while Aaron rushed out of his seat and practically dragged his mother away from Robert, pulling her around to sit next to him. Aaron watched Robert anxiously, praying he wouldn't have another panic attack so soon after the last one.

Robert clenched his eyes shut and tried to picture his happy place, the way Doc had taught him. He struggled to keep his breathing normal.

Chas looked on in confusion. She didn't understand what was going on. She'd only been having a bit of fun with her son's newest suitor.

"Robert," Aaron asked softly, his eyes never leaving the man seated opposite him. "It's ok, Robert, you're safe here."

Chas frowned as she watched the scene unfolding around her. She hadn't expected anything like this. "Robert? Aaron, what's going on?" she asked.

"Robert gets panic attacks," Aaron explained quietly. "Just give him a minute." Aaron reached across the table, taking Robert's hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm right here, Robert."

Chas looked on in confusion. She saw their interlinked hands. The way they looked at each other.

After a few minutes, Robert calmed down, his breathing and heartbeat back to being steady.

"Thank you," Robert whispered, still shaken up.

"I meant what I said last night," Aaron said softly before asking Robert if he wanted to go back to the B&B.

They walked slowly, letting the fresh air hit them. Aaron promised he would talk to his mother later but right now his priority was getting Robert home safe.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Aaron escorted Robert up to his room at the B&B. He sat Robert on the bed and knelt in front of him. "Are you ok? Is there anything you need?" he asked, concerned. He squeezed Robert's hand reassuringly. "Anything at all?"

Robert gave a small smile. "Could you," Robert started but paused.

"I meant it when I said anything, Robert," Aaron reaffirmed.

"Could you stay here, with me?" Robert said in a whisper, scared of saying anything wrong.

"Of course I will."

Robert lunged forward, tangling his fists in Aaron's hoodie. " 'm sorry," he mumbled.

Aaron hold Robert close, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Rubbish. You have nothing to be sorry for, Robert. I'm here, whatever you need, whenever you need."

Robert had never felt this close to someone before and had never felt the need to be as close to someone before.

"I just want to feel you next to me." Robert said quietly. They laid together in blissful silence.

Robert pressed his lips to Aaron's, just a quick brushing of lips before he buried his head back again Aaron's chest. He'd never wanted to be this close to another bloke before. Never had feelings like this. He was confused. For so long he'd hated this, being with other men.

What made Aaron so different? he wondered. Why, with Aaron did he keep coming back, wanting, needing more? It didn't make any sense to him, but maybe it didn't need to. Doc kept telling Robert he needed to listen to his heart, mend relationships, even start new ones.

So why was he wasting his time with doubt and fear? He wanted Aaron, couldn't seem to get close enough. So why was he fighting this?

He had to stop fighting it. He wanted to stop fighting in. He lifted his head and connected their lips once again, bodies pressed up close to one another.

Robert kissed harder, needing the passion. He felt Aaron move his mouth away from his and looked at him.

"Robert are you sure?" Aaron asked.

Robert wasn't used to people asking. "I'm sure," Robert replied, placing his hands on Aaron's neck and bringing him closer, hesitating for only a brief second.

Robert rolled over so he was straddling Aaron, his legs either side of Aaron's hips, deepening the kiss.

He tugged on the hem of Aaron's shirt and started to take it off, moving it up Aaron's toned stomach, breaking away from each other's mouths for a moment and taking the shirt off.

Robert started to kiss down Aaron's body, attacking his neck before moving down, keeping eye contact with Aaron. He felt himself getting harder.

His hands fiddled with Aaron's belt.

"Let me," Aaron said, reaching down and removing his belt and letting Robert take his jeans off.

Robert leaned back, admiring Aaron's body. He got lost in his thoughts. He took off his own shirt and jeans, leaving both men in just their boxers.

Robert was nervous yet excited. This was all so new to him.

His hands, which were shaking slightly, trailed up Aaron's thighs, making a small moan leave Aaron's mouth. Robert leant down and kissed up Aaron's thighs, deliberately avoiding Aaron's hardening cock.

He looked up at Aaron, saw the bliss on his face. He stopped kissing Aaron's thighs and went back to kissing Aaron's mouth.

Their cocks rubbing against the other's through the thin material of their boxers.

"Mmm... please, Rob," Aaron moaned out.

Robert slid his had down Aaron's boxers, his hand sliding over Aaron's cock making Aaron whimper.

He gripped Aaron's dick and started to move his hand up and down the shaft.

He moved his hand slowly at first, making sure Aaron was definitely OK with it. Then his actions got faster and the kisses got more sloppy and out of control. Aaron's moans of pleasure got louder as he reached his climax.

"So... so close, Robert," Aaron grunted.

Robert just pumped Aaron's hard cock quick, gripping it tighter.

He could feel how close Aaron was. He stopped kissing him and went back to kissing down his body. Licking and biting Aaron's nipples, making him scream with pleasure.

"Fuck, Robert. Gonna..." and before Aaron could finish his sentence, he came, exploding onto Roberts hand. Robert continued to pump Aaron's cock through his orgasm.

Once Aaron was left breathless, Robert got up and went to the bathroom to get the wipes, wiping down his hands before go back into the bedroom.

Robert climbed back into bed, using the cloth to clean Aaron up gently, his eyes locked on Aaron's face, the blown pupils of his eyes, the loving smile on his face. He couldn't help himself, leaning down to brush his lips against Aaron's again. Aaron was like a drug to him. The more he got, the more he seemed to want. The thought both thrilled and scared him.

But Robert was done letting fear control his life. He laid back down beside Aaron, kissing his chest, returning to Aaron's nipples. They were obviously a sensitive spot for the man, and Robert decided to make good use of that knowledge, rolling the nipple between his lips before biting down and sucking hard.

As he sucked on the other man's nipples he let his hands roam Aaron's body. Aaron let out small moans. Robert stopped and started kissing Aaron, both men smiling.

Robert blushed softly. He cupped Aaron's face gently, leaning in, wanting to feel that connection again. The smallest touch, even that smile that Aaron gave him when no one else was looking, sent shivers up and down Robert's spine. It was a new thing, this. He'd never felt anything remotely like it before.

Being with Aaron felt right and exciting at the same time. Being with Aaron made him feel safe.

Safety is what Roberts has wanted for so long and now he feels like he finally has it.

He felt Aaron's hand wonder down his body, he froze for a split second but this was Aaron, Aaron wouldn't hurt him.

"How did I get so lucky," Robert murmured against Aaron's lips.

Aaron grinned down at him. "I think you got that backwards, Mate. I am definitely the lucky one." He grinned devilishly as he palmed Robert through his boxers, gazing down at him silently.

Robert let out a small, low moan. "Is this ok?" he heard Aaron ask and could only nod in response. Even just a touch of pleasure made him loose his mind. He didn't trust himself to speak.

Robert shuddered, his body nudging up into Aaron's hand restlessly. It was like his body wanted something else. Robert's experiences hadn't exactly left him knowing what that could possibly be. His lips parted as he gazed up at Aaron, getting lost in his eyes.

His breathing got shallow and he knew he was getting close.

His eyes never leaving Aaron's, not even for a moment.

His moans becoming louder with every second.

Robert's hips lifted, pushing himself against Aaron's hand, seeking release. He gazed up at the younger man, eyes pleading silently.

Aaron smiled knowing what Robert wanted. He nodded, letting Robert know it was ok.

Robert's entire body arched as he came, his hand gripping Aaron's like a vice as he rode out his release.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert woke up with a smile on his lips. He turned to look at the sleeping man beside him on the bed and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before nudging him awake.

He saw the other man start to stir and finally open his eyes with a smile starting to form. The room was quiet, with only the sound of their shallow breathing surrounding them. The bed was warm, their bodies pressed close to one another.

Robert's smile widened. Then he started to blush. "What's Cain going to say about us never coming back from lunch?" he asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

Aaron frowned for a moment before the grin reappeared. "He'll just have to get over it. Cuz I can almost guarantee this will happen again."

Roberts smile grew bigger, and he leaned his head down and kissed Aaron slowly. Aaron didn't hesitate to kiss back.  
Then there was a knock at the door.

"Robert, love, are you in there? Is Aaron with you? Only Cain's downstairs looking for ya's. He said ya never came back from lunch," Diane called through the door.

Both men groaned.

"I'll be down in a second," Robert shouted back.

"is Aaron in there? Only Cain wants a word," Diane called out again.

"We'll be down in a second, Diane," Aaron shouted, hoping it would be enough to please her which luckily it did.

Both men started to move and get dressed, stealing quick glances at each other.

The men walked down the stairs a few moments later, Aaron meeting Cain's gaze head on, Robert hanging his head slightly, worried that Cain might sack him over this. He needed the job, first and foremost. It was a huge part of his recovery, getting a job and being able to take care of himself. But now there was Aaron as well. He didn't know what he'd do if he couldn't see the man every day anymore.

"Right garage now!" Cain yelled before either man had a chance to explain. "Finish what you were meant to finish yesterday, you can explain later."

Aaron and Robert looked at each other before walking off.

The men returned to the garage and got back to work. Robert struggled not to keep stealing glances at Aaron, instead forcing himself to focus on the work that needed doing, not wanting to give Cain any more reason to sack him. He buried his head in the car, working out what the problem was and how to fix it.

"Spark plugs," he heard Aaron say over his shoulders. He turned Around and saw Aaron standing sheepishly.

"Yeah, I was getting there," Robert huffed out.

"Robert, what's wrong? You haven't spoken," Aaron asked.

Robert swallowed the lump in his throat. "I can't lose this job, Aaron," he said quietly. "And I..."

"What?" Aaron asked, placing a comforting hand on Robert's shoulder.

"I can't lose this job and I can't lose you," Robert answered, turning away from Aaron while he tried to get his emotions under control.

Robert tried to hold the tears in.

"Robert, Cain won't fire you. He thinks you're a great mechanic. Do you trust me Robert?" He heard Aaron's soft voice and slowly turned to face him.

He closed his eyes, forcing back his tears, before opening them again to meet Aaron's gaze and answered, "More than I've ever trusted anyone."

"Then trust me when I say that you will have this job for as long as you want and need it and the same goes for having me. I'll always be here for you." Aaron put his hands on either side of Roberts face and rested his forehead on Robert's, knowing both of them needed to feel close to the other.

They stood in comfortable silence, bodies so close but not touching, for a while.

"We should get back to work," Robert spoke up, moving his head back slightly, disconnecting their foreheads and giving a small smile.

Aaron smiled back. "Dinner tonight? We can go into Hotten, get away from the village for a bit," he suggested.

Robert smiled, relaxing. "Sounds great," he answered.

They got back to working, flowing into a conversation. They finished in just under an hour or so. "Breakfast?" Aaron asked as the clock had just turned 9 am.

"Yeah, I could go for breakfast."

"Sounds good, Aaron can go fetch breakfast for all three of us then," Cain said, standing behind them. "We wouldn't want you two to disappear again, after all."

"Right," Aaron replied, walking off towards the cafe.

Robert turned away from Cain to try to get back to work before Cain shouted his name.

"So, anything you want to tell your boss?" Cain asked with a smirk.

"Nope," Robert replied, knowing what Cain was referring to.

"So you're not going to tell me why my Aaron was in your bedroom this morning?"

Robert blushed but answered, "Nope." He buried his head back under the hood, trying to escape his boss and the man's questions. This thing with Aaron was too new, too scary, to talk to other people about.

"Guess I'll just have to bug Aaron later," Cain said before walking away smirking.

A while later Aaron returned with the bacon butties and coffee.

"I'm going to guess that he was asking questions?" Aaron asked Robert in a hushed tone as he was handing over the food.

"Yeah," Robert answered nervously. "He said since I wouldn't answer them that he'd get the answers from you."

Aaron shook his head, looking straight into Robert's eyes. "It's none of his business," Aaron stated emphatically. "We'll tell people what we want when we're ready, and not before."

They both shared a smile.

"Enough with the love eyes, get to work!" Cain shouted from his desk.

They shared another small smile before getting on with their work.

By the time their shift ended, Robert was more than happy to get far away from Cain. The man had been insufferable all day, asking the same questions a thousand times, and dropping innuendos left and right. Robert couldn't help but be excited about the prospect of spending time with Aaron without so many prying eyes around them.

He walked back to the B&B and set about getting ready. He took a quick shower and searched through his wardrobe for something to wear. Once he was dressed and ready to go, he headed downstairs.

"Robert, Pet, are you joining us for Tea tonight?" Diane asked when she saw him.

"Not tonight, Diane," Robert answered. "Aaron and I are headed into Hotten tonight."

"You and Aaron seem to be spending a lot of time together," Diane observed.

Robert rolled his eyes. "It's what mates do," he replied, pace picking up. He didn't want to lie but he just wasn't truly ready. He headed out the door and avoided getting asked other questions as he made his way to the pub to meet Aaron.

Robert reached the pub, and went inside, a little nervous about how crowded the place was tonight. He walked over to the counter, seeing Chas was serving tonight and spoke a bit nervously. "Hello, Chas. Is Aaron here yet?"

Chas glanced up, her brow arching as she looked him over slowly. "Why do you want to know?" she asked and he could see the sparkle in her eye and hear the barely disguised glee in her voice and he groaned, knowing that Cain had gotten to her already.

"Um.. We were supposed to get drinks." Robert replied. He twiddled with his fingers, feeling nervous.

"For any particular reason...?" Chas asked, leaning in.

"Just two mates having a drink after work," Robert told her, hoping she would drop it.

"And the two of you skiving off work yesterday? Aaron spending the whole night at yours? Is that just what mates do, too?" she asked.

"I... I had a panic attack. He helped me through it," Robert stammered nervously.

"You had a panic attack at lunch time. Cain said Aaron was still at yours this morning," Chas pressed, grinning widely.

Luckily he was saved from answering. "Right let's go," he heard Aaron say as he put on a jumper.

"I thought yous two were having drinks?"

"We are..in town away from all the nosy people of this town," Aaron told his mum.

Both men walked out the pub and to the bus station in a comfortable silence.

"Sorry about my mum. She can't keep her nose out of things that don't concern her," Aaron said apologetically.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

The bus ride was short but peaceful.

"So where are we going for dinner?" Robert asked, curious, as they stepped off the bus.

"I haven't actually got a place in mind so we could just wonder for a bit," Aaron suggested.

Robert nodded taking in his surroundings. He placed his trust in Aaron tonight. He followed Aaron's lead to see where it would take them.

Robert followed Aaron down a busy street, the sidewalk crowded more than he was comfortable with. He made certain to stay close to Aaron, not wanting to be separated by the rather unruly crowd.

His hand's so close to Aaron's, each step making them brush.

Aaron turned his head and smiled at Robert, who smiled back. Then Robert felt their hands interlocking. Robert froze for a brief second but then he remembered this was Aaron. Aaron wouldn't hurt him. Aaron kept him safe.

Robert smiled, his body relaxing and he leaned in closer to Aaron, enjoying this public display more than he'd ever thought possible.

He pointed at a building on the corner, bright lights, loud music and a steady stream of people entering and exiting it. "What is that place?" he asked.

"That is a gay bar.." Aaron said slowly, letting Robert process what he just said.

"Oh right." Robert didn't know what to say. Should he give it a try? Should he just keep walking? He didn't know what to do. Panic started to rise in him.

"I used to go there... when I was first coming out. I met Jackson there," he said wistfully.

"Jackson?" Robert asked, curious.

"We went out a few times. He was completely out, and I don't think he ever understood why it was so hard for me. We got into a fight one night. He kicked me out of the car, left me stranded on the side of the road and just took off. He died that night. Drunk driver ran him off the road." Aaron spoke softly, his sadness etched on his face.

Robert engulfed him in a hug. "Aaron, we don't have to go in if it's going to bring up memories that will upset you."

Aaron pulled back and nodded. They kept walking down the street.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Robert asked in a soft tone.

"I'm not sure you'll want to hear it," Aaron said, sadness in his voice.

"Jackson was important to you. We don't have to, but I just want you to know that I'll be here when you want to," Robert said with a small reassuring smile.

Robert squeezed Aaron's hand reassuringly as they continued to walk, and Robert asked frequent questions, both out of genuine curiosity, and to help distract Aaron from troubling thoughts.

"This may sound strange," Robert started nervously, "but I'm glad you met and knew Jackson. If that hadn't happened we wouldn't be standing here together right now."

"Yeah, me too," Aaron replied with a small smile on his face.

They continued to walk in a comfortable silence until Aaron smelled chips.

"We could grab some chips, sit on a bench," Aaron suggested to which Robert agreed.

Robert didn't know where it had come from, but he was feeling almost playful at the moment and he made a game of pretending to steal Aaron's chips.

It lightened his heart to see the man smile, to hear him laugh, and to know that that was down to him. It made him feel so good in that moment that it shone down and wiped all the shadows right out of his past.

"Thank you," he heard Aaron say in almost a whisper.

"For what?" Robert asked, all he'd done is buy chips after all.

"Its been a while since I've been this happy. I forgot how nice it was."

"You deserve to be happy Aaron," Robert said, looking directly into Aaron's eyes so he knew he meant it.

"Some day, when we're old and wrinkly and wearing matching jumpers, rocking on our porch, and we're both in our 80s, we'll be telling our grand kids..." Robert stopped, swallowing hard as his thoughts caught up with him and he realized what he was saying.

"Telling our grand kids what?" Aaron prompted smile not faltering, eyes wide.

"Telling them about the moment I realized I was falling for you," Robert whispered, not trusting himself to speak properly.

"It's a nice thought," Robert continued, "but not very realistic." He lay his head on Aaron's shoulder, trying to will away the sad thoughts. He'd been so happy just a moment ago. He wanted that feeling back.

"What makes it so unrealistic?" Aaron asked, nicking one of Roberts chips.

"No one knows what the future holds," Robert stated, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice. "But statistically speaking, I'm not going to get an 80th birthday."

Aaron frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked, his arm tightening around Robert's shoulders.

"Transplant recipients have a lower life expectancy than normal, healthy people," Robert answered. "But it doesn't matter. Statistics are just numbers. What's going to happen is going to happen."

"Robert, like you said no one can know the future. You can beat the odds."

"Maybe but it isn't likely." Both men spoke in soft voices, both scared of saying the wrong thing.

"Look at Jackson, Robert," Aaron said firmly. "He was perfectly fine one minute, and then the next, he was dead because some idiot decided to drive drunk. There are no guarantees in life. We just have to live each day the best we can."

Robert didn't say anything. Instead he intertwined his hands in Aaron's, needing the comfort. He didn't think tonight would end up this way.

"After Jackson died, I was in a really dark place. He was the first person I'd ever really wanted to be with, you know," Aaron continued. "And losing him hurt more than I'd ever imagined anything could possibly hurt me. For a very long time, I thought I would never get that close to anyone like that again. I didn't think I could ever risk my heart like that again."

Robert squeezed his hand in support. "It's ok, Aaron. You don't need to talk about this if it's too painful."

"It was painful. For a very long time. But that was because I closed myself off for so long. I thought I was protecting my heart, but I was just closing myself off from all the things that make life worth living. I finally realized that living with my heart closed off to all the things that life has to offer wasn't really living at all." Aaron looked into Robert's eyes. "So, I started to take chances again. Little ones at first, like going to that party with Finn. But, it was worth it. I started letting people in again. Adam, your sister. And now, the future is wide open. I'm happy. And now I've met this amazing bloke and I can sit here on a bench with him, and I'm not terrified of getting hurt. And I meant what I said. As long as you want me around. Just try and get rid of me," Aaron vowed softly. "You're stuck with me now. We're stuck with each other."

"Aaron, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go for it" Aaron replied.

"I've never felt this close to someone before," Robert started, before taking a deep breath.

"Neither have I, Robert," Aaron answered truthfully. "I've never thought about a future with anyone until now. But I do with you."

Aaron leaned in and kissed Robert softly, his fingers tangling in his hair. "I want a future with you," he whispered urgently.

They kissed more passionately before remembering that they were in public.

"What was the question?" Aaron asked.

"Oh um.." Robert started to blush and get shy. "I um.. I was wondering if we could.. make this official?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Mmm... I think I'll say a definite yes to that," Aaron replied with a smirk.

They stared into each other's eyes for a short while, both smiling like lovesick fools, hands easily sliding into one another as if they were made to be.

"I'll have to come out to Vic and Diane," Robert said quietly. "I don't want them finding out through the gossip mill. Would you umm... would you be there with me when..."

Aaron squeezed Robert's hand reassuringly. "Course I will," he answered. "It's us together now. Officially, right?" he teased before hugging Robert closer to him.

"Thank you," Robert said to Aaron.

"If you need me there, of course I'll be there. It's what boyfriends are for," Aaron replied with a small smirk.

"Not just for that. For everything. For helping me and just being here," Robert said shyly, not used to opening up about how he feels.

"You don't have to thank me, Robert. I wanted to be there for you," Aaron replied, giving a small reassuring smile.

Robert leaned in and kissed Aaron slowly, not caring who saw. He was done hiding.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" a smug female voice sounded from behind them. "Aaron Dingle, you should really be more careful about the company you keep," Katie said sweetly. "Robert's definitely not someone you want to be associated with."

Robert ducked his head, scooting quickly away from Aaron, his happy bubble burst, the implications of what was happening sinking into a pit in his stomach. Why was this happening now? Of all the people they knew, why was it Katie, the person who most hated him, that had to run into them like this?

"what do you want Katie?" Robert asked annoyed. She always had to ruin everything.

"Well, well. Robert Sugden is a gay man now," she smirked.

"I'm not gay, Katie. Just mind your own business," Robert stated, standing up. Aaron moving to stand up as well.

"Let's just go, Robert. We could go back to the pub," Aaron suggested.

Robert nodded, moving closer to Aaron. "Yeah," Robert said quietly. "Let's just go. She'll just twist everything anyway."

"I wonder what Andy and Diane will say when they find out," Katie taunted.

Robert turned to look at her. "I wonder what they'd say when they find out you lied about me all those years ago," Robert barked back angrily. "Andy's been keen to talk to me since I got back. Maybe it's time he learned the truth about his fiance."

"What, like he would believe you over me?" Katie retorted.

"I'm his brother that has been away for many years and who he has missed, so yeah, I think he will."

"Let's go, Robert," Aaron whispered, tugging on Robert's hand.

Robert nodded, allowing Aaron to lead him away from the blonde woman who was glaring daggers at the retreating men.

Robert pulled out his phone and dialed. He held up his phone to his ear as he waited for someone to answer. "Hey, it's me. Can you get Vic and meet me at the B&B in about an hour?" Robert asked. "I think it's time we sat down and talked. And, could you do me one favor? Leave Katie off the invitation list."

Robert hung up the phone, not waiting for an answer and the men walked back to the bus stop.

"Are you ok, Robert?" Aaron asked, concerned and confused.

"I think I will be," Robert said.

They walked along, hand in hand, a comfortable silence in the air. A silence that allowed Robert to think clearly for the first time that night, all the what ifs running through his mind.

"Maybe Andy's ready to face the truth now," Robert said softly, hope threading his voice. "I hope he is. He'd be making a big mistake, marrying her."

"Why does she hate you so much?" Aaron asked, gazing over at his new boyfriend.

"Because I turned her down," Robert answered. "Dad had just adopted Andy, and he was dating her. But Katie's not the type to be satisfied with what she's got. She always wants more. I was 15 and she was dating my adopted brother and she made a move on me." Robert gazed into Aaron's eyes, willing him to see the honesty. "I turned her down, so to get even, she told Andy that I had hit on her."

"What the hell? Seriously? That isn't a normal thing to do," Aaron replied in disbelief.

"Yeah. It's why Andy hated me so much. I tried to make him believe me, but he was in too deep with her."

"Robert? Why did you deny it when she said you were gay?" Aaron asked.

"I don't like labels," Robert answered, weighing his words carefully. "I supposed if I had to pick one, I'd say bi. I've been with both. But that was a long time ago, before my transplant. And even before that, I think I always preferred boys... men," he corrected himself, leaning in to kiss Aaron softly.

"But I know I have the ability to love anyone in different ways," he continued after pulling away.

Aaron smiled. "Are you sure you're ready?" Aaron asked, not wanting to push Robert into things.

"I'm pretty sure I asked you if we could make it official," Robert reminded him, settling his head on Aaron's shoulder. "I'm exactly where I want to be, with the person I want to be with."

Aaron smiled back, pressing a kiss to the crown of Robert's head. They finally were able to board the bus and head back to Emmerdale to meet up with Robert's family.

"Aaron, if you'd rather not be there when I tell them..." Robert began, not wanting Aaron to feel obligated to do anything he wasn't comfortable doing.

"Robert, if you want me there then I want to be there." Aaron interrupted making sure Robert knew he meant what he said.

He wanted this now more than ever. He needed this. He couldn't let the past control him anymore. He wouldn't.  
He smiled at Aaron before leaning his head on Aaron's shoulders.

 

 

Once they finally arrived back in the village, Robert gripped Aaron's hand tightly as they headed into the B&B.

Robert gripped Aaron's hand tighter for a moment, sharing a quick desperate glance, before he released the hand and led his boyfriend into the dining room where he saw his family gathered. Robert sat opposite Vic, knowing she would be the friendliest face after he got this out.

He looked over and saw Diane, worried look on her face, her eyes glancing from Robert to Aaron. "So.. Why are we all here and why is Aaron also here?" Andy spoke up.

Robert turned to Andy, the person he knew would be the hardest to win over and took a deep breath. "I'm sure you remember why Dad banished me," he started, lowering his gaze to the table. He felt Aaron's hand on his thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze and he resolved himself to just getting it out. His gaze lifted back to Andy's. "I told you back then it wasn't true, but neither of you believed me. It wasn't true. I never hit on Katie. I never hit on any girl, because... because I didn't like girls. I... I've always preferred boys... men," he finished, reaching a hand toward Aaron above the table, needing his strength in that moment.

"I mean... I do like girls but I never liked Katie. I never went near her and you have to understand that," Robert added. The rest of his family looked on.

"So what are you saying, Robert?" Vic asked him.

He took a deep breath and looked towards Aaron, who gave him a small smile and took his hand in his.

"I'm bisexual. I.. I've always sort of known but I never wanted to admit it," Robert quickly said, close to tears.

"Why are you telling us this now?" Andy asked, his gaze locked with Robert's.

"Because Katie saw us together tonight. It was our first date, and she saw us, and I wanted you to hear it from me, not someone else," Robert answered softly. "It's why I came home, to be close to family. And I realize that in order for that to happen, I have to be honest with you all. About who I am and what's happened to me while I've been gone."

"So you two..." Diane started.

"Yeah. We... We're together," Robert stated.

"We, um... since I helped with his panic attack, we got closer and then it just sort of happened," Aaron added.

"Liar," Andy mumbled harshly.

Robert gulped hard, staring at his brother. "I'm not..."

Andy's eyes teared up as he shook his head. "Not you. Katie. She lied to me. Made me believe my own brother had betrayed me." He rushed around the table, pulling Robert into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry we didn't believe you," Andy sobbed softly.

Robert's breath started to hitch as Andy's arms enveloped him. Aaron stood quickly, prepared to pull Andy away from his boyfriend, but Robert shook his head slightly. Robert hugged Andy back tighter, missing this, his family. Finally, after all these years, he felt like he belonged again.

After Andy released him, he was pulled into another hug from Vic and Diane.

"Oh pet, I'm sorry," Diane said softly.

"I'm ok now. That's all that matters," Robert told them.

Robert broke the hugs, stepping closer to Aaron. "There's something else I need to tell you," he said quietly. "About what happened to me while I was gone." Robert laid his head against Aaron's chest and hugged the man closer to him, drawing strength from him to get through this next bit. "Living alone on streets in a strange city... it's not easy," he started nervously. "I didn't handle it well."

"What happened?" Andy asked, still crying silently as he looked at his brother.

"I drank. A lot. I um... my liver failed. I was told if I didn't get a new one, I'd die."

Vic gasped, her hand covering her mouth in horror. "You're dying?" she cried out.

"They wouldn't even put me on the donor list unless I could prove I could stop drinking. Permanently. I was sober for a year before I was placed on the list. I got lucky. They found me a donor and I got the new liver. That's a big part of why I came home. Donor recipients need to have strong support systems. My doctors all wanted me to come home, reconnect. I fought it at first. I didn't really think any of you would welcome me back."

Aaron hugged Robert close, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"There's still a big risk involved with the transplant. I have to keep taking meds and eating right because if I don't my body could reject the liver."

"That's why you don't drink alcohol," Vic said.

"Yeah. I have an addiction, so I have to stay away from it," he stated.

"I should talk to Katie," Andy suddenly spoke.

"It's ok. You go talk to her. You should probably sort things out," Robert said, always one to put others before himself.

"There's nothing to sort out, Robert. She lied to me. She made me turn on my own brother. It's over," Andy said angrily. "I want her out of my life."

"Do what ever is best for you, Andy. Just... Just don't make any rash decisions," Robert said.

"Well tonight has been eventful. How about a family dinner?" Vic suggested as an attempt to lighten up the mood. "Tomorrow night, at mine and Adam's?"

"That sounds wonderful," Diane said and agreed to help out and go. Andy agreed next.

"Robert, what do you say?" Vic asked not wanting to push him.

"Um... Can Aaron come?"

"Of course he can, Pet," Diane answered.

Robert glanced at Vic. "You forget, he's Adam's best mate, too," Vic laughed. "Of course he can come. He's part of the family, now, isn't he?"

Robert blushed and nodded shyly. "Yeah, he is," Robert answered, gazing up into Aaron's eyes.

"We'll be there then, Vic," Aaron replied.

"Does Adam know?" Vic asked.

"Not yet. I was going to tell him after this," Aaron told her.

"Well, then I won't say anything," she smiled back.

"I'm gonna head off. I have to see Katie," Andy spoke up, all joy drained from him. He walked out, his head low.

"I've also got to go. Adam will be wondering where I am," Vic stated, saying her goodbyes and giving the boys another hug.

"I'm guessing the family meeting is over then," Diane joked.

"Looks like it." Aaron replied.

"Well then I should get back to running the business," she said and after that the boys were left alone.

Aaron engulfed Robert into a hug, Robert resting his head on Aaron's shoulder.

"It's ok. You did it," Aaron whispered softly.

"Yeah," Robert breathed softly. "Now we just have to tell your lot."

 

Robert walked to the pub with Aaron, not ready for the night to end yet. As emotional as things had been with telling his family about his past, being with Aaron made him feel... happy. And he wasn't ready for that feeling to end just yet.

They entered the pub hand in hand. The pub was in full swing with punters mostly being drunk.

"A pint and an oj please," Aaron said to charity, as he and Robert sat down on the stools.

Charity brought over their drinks. "Something wrong?" she asked, her gaze hard on Robert. "Our drinks not good enough for the posh Sugden?"

Robert frowned, glancing over at Aaron. This was his family. He wasn't sure how to handle this situation without possibly angering Aaron in the process.

"Obviously," Aaron remarked, making Robert smile a bit. Charity walked away, leaving the boys alone.

"Thanks," Robert said in a whisper. "For sticking up for me," he added.

"It's alright. Do you want anything to eat or should we just drink these and then find me mum?" Aaron asked, wanting to make sure that Robert was comfortable.

"Let's just do this. Before charity goes out back and tells her for us," Robert replied.

Aron nodded and they finished their drinks, getting up and walking into the back. They found Chas sitting on the couch, watching some singing show on the telly.

"Hi, Mum," Aaron greeted, alerting her to their presence.

"Aaron!" Chas said happily, holding her arms out to her son. "And I see your mate is with you as per," she remarked snarkily. "You know Katie was in here earlier. She told me all about what that one did to her all those years ago."

"You know nothing about that!" Robert shouted.

"Well I do because Katie told me," Chas shouted back.

"Mum. It isn't any of your business, plus nothing happened between them. Katie lied," Aaron interrupted.

"Did he tell you that?" Chas retorted.

"No. Katie did. When we were out in Hotten. She admitted it so just back off," Aaron told his mum.

"She admitted that she lied about Robert?" Chas asked in disbelief.

"Yes. She saw us out on a date and she couldn't wait to jump in and try to start trouble. She brought up why Robert's father and Andy send Robert away and he argued that it wasn't true and she admitted it. I was there. I heard every word. Robert rejected her when she tried it on with him and that was her revenge. Twisting it around and blaming Robert for trying it on with her. Problem is, Robert isn't into Katie. He prefers people like me," Aaron said, taking Robert's hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Wait hold up, a date?" Chas asked.

"Yeah you know, when two people enjoy each others company and like each other," Aaron said back sarcastically.

"I know what a date is. So you and him are together?"

"Yeah. Your son is now my boyfriend," Robert spoke up.

Chas jumped up and came around to hug Aaron tightly, reaching over to pinch Robert's cheek. "I knew it!!!!" she crowed. "CHARITY!!! YOU OWE ME FIFTY QUID!!!!!" she shouted out toward the pub. She turned back toward her son and his new boyfriend. "I always knew that Katie was up to no good. Does your brother know what she's done?" Chas asked Robert, a frown on her face. "That boy deserves far better than that good for nothing slapper."

Robert just stared at Chas, stunned into silence. He nodded. "He knows. I told him," Robert told her.

"wait wait wait. You betted on us?" Aaron asked.

"Well yeah. Everyone could see the heart eyes," Chas simply stated.

"So you are OK with this?" Robert asked.

"Yes, I'm ok with it, but if you hurt my boy I will not be held accountable for my actions," Chas said in a serious tone, looking Robert dead in the eye.

"Got it," Robert replied, trying not to let on that he was scared but utterly failing.

Aaron tugged Robert closer, kissing him happily.

Robert rested his forehead against Aaron's, gazing into his eyes.

"Awwwww! There's those heart eyes again!!!!" Chas crowed.

Robert pulled back reluctantly, gazing warily at her.

"If that's everything, I have a bar to run. Do you want me to get Marlon to cook something?" She asked as she was walking away from the couple.

"No. We'll be fine," Robert replied.

"Alright then," she said as she walked out.

"Take out and a movie?" Aaron suggested.

"Just what I was thinking," Robert replied, leaning in for another kiss.

 

Robert picked at his salad, stealing glances at the man seated next to him. God, but Aaron was beautiful, he thought to himself. And this beautiful man was his boyfriend now. Robert still found it a little hard to believe. But he wouldn't change it for anything.

"Do you want to maybe stay here tonight?" Aaron asked after taking a bite of his pizza.

"I don't know. New places make me anxious..," Robert started before he was interrupted.

"Hey, it's ok. I understand." Aaron gave a reassuring smile.

"You can always stay at mine," Robert suggested.

Aaron grinned widely. "That sounds great," he said huskily, leaning in to nibble at Robert's neck.

Robert shivered, his fingers tangling in Aaron's silky hair, holding him close.

Both men giving into pleasure until an alarm went off.

"Shit. Sorry. Need to take my pills," Robert explained as he stood up. "I didn't know how long we would be out for," he added.

"Robert, it's fine. We'll take all this over to the B and B and finish it there," Aaron said, making Robert feel better about the situation.

Robert reached over, taking Aaron's hand in his as they left the pub, heading back over to the B&B. They entered quietly and made their way up to Robert's room, closing and locking the door behind them. Robert released Aaron's hand and headed into the bathroom, filling a glass with water and opening the pill bottle, shaking the pill into his hand. He looked up, seeing Aaron in the doorway, and gave him a soft smile, placing the pill on his tongue and washing it down with the water.

"Diane needs to update these rooms," Aaron said as he walked over and sat on the bed, starting up the tv.

"I dare you to say that to her," Robert replied, walking over.

"Hmm yeah, I'll pass", Aaron replied, making both men laugh.

Robert sat down and began to eat some more of his salad as Aaron ate his pizza.

"God I miss the taste of pizza," Robert admitted, staring at the box of pizza.

"You could always have a slice."

"Can't. Got to stick to the diet," Robert told Aaron.

"Well then, I guess you can always give me a kiss and taste it on my lips," Aaron teased.

Robert grinned and leaned in, kissing Aaron hungrily. He hummed as he tasted sauce and spices on Aaron's tongue, and he couldn't help himself, deepening the kiss even more.

Food is now long forgotten as clothing is stripped and mouths collide in heated passion.

The soft moans of the men filling the room.

Hands intertwined above Aaron's head.

Robert kissing down Aaron's neck, leaving small marks.

Robert's mouth exploring Aaron's body.

Giving into pleasure and letting Aaron turn them over so that he was on top.

Robert getting more erect as Aaron's hands moved down his body, slowly, teasing him.

"Please, Aaron," Robert whimpered.

"Please what? Tell me what you want Robert," Aaron whispered.

"Want you to touch me. Please," Robert barely got out before he moaned as Aaron's hand moved down and to his thighs.

"If you are sure," Aaron said.

"Very sure."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Robert pulled his shirt down, laughing and squirming away from Aaron's tickling fingers. "We can have brekkie here today if you want," he suggested, glancing over at Aaron to see his reaction.

"Breakfast in bed. Now you're really treating me good," Aaron joked with a smile.

"What can I say. I'm trying to get on your good side", Robert giggled back, leaning in for a kiss which Aaron happily gave.

Robert walked into the bathroom, opening his vitamin bottle and shaking one into his hand. He chewed and swallowed before returning to the bedroom. "It might be fun to see the shock on Diane's face when she sees us join her at the table," Robert teased.

Aaron laughed in response as he started to get dressed, making Robert stare in awe.

"You like what you see?" Aaron asked coyly.

"Mmm, definitely," Robert responded, making a small laugh leave Aaron's lips.

The two men walked downstairs and made their way into the dining room, where Diane was just setting the final dishes on the table. "Good morning boys," she greeted cheerily. "Will you be joining us this morning?" she asked hopefully.

"We'd love to," Aaron answered warmly as he took a seat. Robert hugged his step mother before taking the seat next to Aaron.

Breakfast was a lighthearted affair, as the conversation remained easy and comfortable. The men ate their fill, Robert cringing a bit when Diane told Aaron a story or two about Robert when he'd been younger.

The two men left for the garage with a plate of food for Cain as well, and took their time walking down to the garage. Robert held Aaron's hand, no longer caring who might see or what they might say.

 

As soon as he felt Aaron's hand on his, Robert felt warm inside. He finally found comfort in the small gesture.

"Oi oi, lover birds," Robert heard Cain shout as they walked into the garage.

"Breakfast, courtesy of Diane," Aaron said as he handed the plate to Cain.

"Ooh, that's why you weren't in your bed last night," Cain smirked.

"Well done, Einstein," Aaron huffed back.

Robert couldn't keep the smile off his face as Cain ribbed them both. It was a far better reaction that he could have ever hoped for. "You have a problem with Aaron and I getting together," he asked, the humor in his voice shining through clearly.

Cain smirked, feigning a lunge at Robert, shaking his head good-naturedly. "Long as he keeps smiling, we got no problems," Cain clarified. He gave Robert a fond fist to the shoulder, making Robert wince and rub at his now aching arm.

Cain was right. As long as Aaron was smiling then everything is good in the world. Everything seems right. Everything makes sense. As long as he is smiling, Robert could smile.

"Cain, we need to order some new spark plug replacements. We are running low," Aaron shouted, taking Robert out of his day dream.

"We could just get you and Robert to touch, seems to be spark there," Cain shouted back, laughing at his own joke as the other men rolled their eyes.

Robert shook his head and got to work, looking under the hood of a car that seemed to be in need of a new radiator. "This is gonna be an order job," Robert informed Cain.

"Yeah, needs a new radiator. Ordered it last week. It just needs picking up in Leeds. Aaron why don't you go on the parts run, and Robert can help me out here til you get back." Cain was grinning like a madman and Robert wondered what he'd gotten himself in for.

"Oh, no! No way am I giving you a chance to scare him off," Aaron argued.

"I second what Aaron said," Robert spoke up, making Cain laugh manically.

"Why don't you go get the radiators?" Aaron suggested.

"Lemme see, I'm the boss so I tell you what to do. Go get the radiators, Aaron," Cain stated, no longer laughing.

"I could go with him?" Robert quickly said.

"No. You are staying here. You and your boyfriend can be apart for an hour," Cain stated as he turned around to get his coffee and the keys for Aaron.

Aaron followed Cain into the office and shut the door, turning a serious gaze on his uncle. "Cain, be careful with him, ok? All joking aside, he's not as indestructable as you think. There are things you don't know yet. Just, just be careful with him. Don't rough house with him, he's not up for that. And, please, if you meant it about keeping the smile on my face, please don't scare him off."

"I won't hurt your dear boyfriend, Aaron. I just want my radiators, so go get them," Cain stated, tossing Aaron the keys.

"Robert get started on servicing that car," Cain added.

"I'll be back in just under an hour, hopefully, so I'll see you then," Aaron said in a whispered tone.

"Yeah, see you then," Robert replied. They shared a quick kiss before Aaron walked over to the van and got in.

Robert watched the van drive off and quickly busied himself with the car. He lost track of time as he worked, stopping when his phone rang. He glanced down as was surprised to see that it was his transplant doc. He hadn't spoken to the man since he'd been released from the hospital several years ago.

He quickly took the call, moving over to a quiet part of the yard so he could take the call in private. "Hey, Doc, what's up?" Robert asked tentatively.

"I'm doing well, Robert. I'm sorry to call out of the blue like this, but your last tests came back, and it looks like we need to change your anti rejection meds. It's nothing to be alarmed about. It's quite common for the body to build up an immunity after a while. It's quite common to have to change up the meds several times after a transplant."

Robert listened quietly, his body tensing, the doctor's reassurances that it was normal not really easing his worry. "I'm not.... my body isn't..."

"No, Robert. This is simply a precaution to make sure that that doesn't happen, alright? There really isn't any reason for concern. I'll text you the new prescription. I see from your file that you've changed addresses. Where should I call the new prescription into?" the doctor asked.

Robert gave over his new housing information and thanked the doctor before hanging up.

"That Aaron? How long is he going to be?" he heard Cain shout from behind him.

"Um no. It was my doctor. Nothing important," Robert answered simply.

"Doctor?" Cain questioned.

Robert just nodded. He didn't need everyone knowing his personal business.

"If you need any time off just say, yeah?"

Robert nodded again, surprised that Cain would be so nice.

He sat down heavily in the office chair, trying to calm himself down. He really didn't want Cain to see him have a panic attack. He tried to regulate his breathing. He tried every trick he'd been taught, but nothing was working. His anxiety was growing, no matter what he did to try to calm down.

His phone went off. He saw it was Aaron saying he was on his way back and that traffic was crazy. He decided he would call Dr Jones.

"Dr Jones here, how can I...," the doctor started before Robert interrupted.

"Doc it's, it's Robert. I..I um, I'm having a panic attack. I can't seem to stop it."

"Have you done your breathing?" she asked.

"Yes. Not working," he replied tightly.

"Right. Carry on with the breathing. Tell me what's been making you happy. Focus on that," she stated.

"Aaron," Robert spoke.

"What about him Robert?" The doctor prompted him.

"He makes me happy," Robert gasped out.

"Ok, Robert, close your eyes," Doc said.

Robert closed his eyes, listening to Doc's voice. "Now picture Aaron there with you. Picture him there. He's comforting you with his presence. Can you see him, Robert?"

"Ye... yes," Robert stuttered.

"Good. That's very good, Robert. He's there with you, calming you down."

Robert leaned into Aaron, drawing strength from him. He imagined Aaron holding him, his presence, as always, a calming balm. His breathing slowed, the tension beginning to ease from his body.

"I...it's working," Robert said, relief washing over him as the panic attack receded.

"Good that's good. Ok. Robert keep doing what your are doing. Imagine he's there with you. Keep in mind why he makes you happy" The doctor said softly.

Robert did what the doctor told him. He imagined Aaron's warm hands wrapped around him. He imagined his head leaning on Aaron's chest. He remembered the moment he told Aaron about his past and how Aaron didn't run away. How he stayed.

The next moment his panic attacked had stopped. He was back in reality.

"Thanks, Doc," Robert said.

"I'm always here, Robert. Have you taken your meds today?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"I would like you to come down to the hospital and come see me. I would like to change the dosage of your anxiety meds, but first we need to run some more tests if that's ok?" She asked, concern in her voice.

"I.. I um... sure," he replied.

"Good. I'll make an appointment for you."

"Right. Thanks, Doc."

"My pleasure Robert."

Robert hung up the phone and took another deep breathe.

Then he heard Aaron's voice and suddenly everything was ok again.

"Robert? What's wrong?" Aaron asked, kneeling before him and looking at him, concerned.

He placed his hands on Robert's face, making him look at him. "Did Cain do something? Say something?"

"No," Robert answered. "Cain's been great. Can... can I tell you after work?" he asked. "I really don't want to show any more weakness around the boss."

"If you need to go, I'll cover for you," Aaron said in a soft tone.

"No, it's fine. I'll be ok. It was just a small panic attack. I promise to tell you after work," Robert replied as he stood up.

"You sure?" Aaron asked as he followed suit and stood up.

"I'm sure. Plus, the quicker we finish the cars the quicker we can go," Robert said with a smile.

Aaron nodded. The two men got back to work, fixing their respective cars while Cain looked on, studying Robert silently.

He didn't know exactly what had happened with that phone call, but he was now certain that his nephew hadn't been exaggerating when he said to be careful with Robert. The man was obviously dealing with things that he didn't know about yet. But he was determined to find out what those things were. He was determined to support this relationship.

If Robert noticed Cain's scrutiny, he didn't outwardly show it. He kept his head down, buried himself in his work. It seemed to Cain as if the man was closing himself off, throwing up walls, and he silently hoped those walls wouldn't keep his nephew out as well.

Cain turned his attention toward Aaron, arching his brow and nodding towards the blond with a questioning frown. Aaron just shook his head and went back to work. Cain backed off and just observed, and if he saw a frown replace the smile that had found a permanant residence since his nephew had met the other man, he kept his observation, as well as his opinion, to himself.

 

As soon as his shift ended, Robert punched his time clock and headed quickly back to the B&B. His head was still reeling from the news his doctor had delivered. He just needed a few minutes to wrap his head around everything so he would be ready to share the information with Aaron.

Robert locked himself in his room and walked into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He swallowed hard, telling himself to remember that Doc had told him it was just a precaution. There was nothing to worry about. It was just routine. He was fine, his body wasn't rejecting the liver. He just needed to stay calm and carry on with things.

He walked back to the B&B silently, thoughts still whirling around in his head. He ignored his step mother's greeting as he made his way up to his room and locked the door behind him. Robert walked into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He could see the fear reflected in his eyes and cursed himself silently. 

That was the last thing he wanted Aaron to see. He didn't want to give the man any reason to run. He'd gotten used to having Aaron close, had drawn on the strength Aaron emitted. He needed that strength, craved it, almost as much as he'd come to craving the man himself.

Robert groaned when he heard the knock at the door. He really needed a little time to prepare before he went to meet up with Aaron. "Robert?" came the last voice he'd expected to be hearing. Robert walked over to the door and let his brother in. 

Andy looked terrible. Robert couldn't help feeling guilty that his brother was taking things so badly. "Andy, I know you love Katie. I don't expect you to leave her because of me."

Andy shook his head and Robert found himself enveloped in his brother's strong grip. "I'm so sorry, Robert. I'm so sorry we believed her lies. Dad never should have sent you away," the man said quietly. "We lost so much time because of her. Dad died before we could find you and he could set things right. All because of her stupid vicious lies!"

Robert couldn't help staring at his brother, shocked by the outpouring of regret. This was not at all what he'd expected when he came back here. Forging a relationship with Vic had been his hope. He'd never let himself believe that he'd recieve Andy's support as well.

"It wasn't your fault, Andy. She was a really good liar," Robert answered, feeling the need to cut his brother some slack.

"She wasn't family though, was she? You were my brother. I should have believed you over her. We never even gave you a chance, did we? We just swallowed all her lies and tossed you out like you were nothing, nobody. I'll never forgive myself for that."

Robert hugged Andy back, just feeling so greatful to finally have his brother back. "It's ok, Andy. You believe me now. That's what matters," Robert told him.

Andy clapped Robert on the back gently. "I'll make it up to you, Robert. Whatever it takes, I promise I'll make it up to you."

The brothers' moment was broken by a tentative knock at the door. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Aaron asked nervously, poking his head in.

"Naw, you're fine," Andy answered, offering his brother a smile. "I'll see you at tea?" he asked hopefully.

Robert smiled back. "Yeah, Brother, I'll see you then." He watched the smile of relief and gratitude grace Andy's face as his brother left them to it.

 

Robert turned his attention to Aaron, offering a small smile. "Sorry about running out on you earlier," he said softly. "Just needed to clear my head."

Aaron just nodded. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Robert," he replied, not wanting the man to feel pushed into doing anything he wasn't ready to do.

"Doc called earlier. Said they need to change up my anti rejection meds. I might have had a panic attack," Robert started. "Doc said it wasn't anything to worry about. That having to change medications was common and that it's just a precaution."

Aaron nodded, just watching Robert carefully.

"I just needed a few minutes to get my head 'round it before I could talk about it," Robert continued. "I was always going to tell you."

Aaron smiled and hugged Robert gently. "I understand," he said soothingly. "So when do you have to go in?"

"Sooner the better," Robert answered. "You could come with..... if you wanted," he continued softly, not daring to glance at the other man, unsure of the reaction his offer would get him.

"I'd like to go with you, if you're sure you don't mind," Aaron answered quickly.

Robert smiled softly, looking at the man he'd fallen for. "Course I want ya there. Just didn't want you to feel like you had to."

"Like I said the other night, Robert. I'm here for ya, for as long as you'll let me be," Aaron stated firmly. "Course I'm gonna wanna be there for you."

Robert and Aaron sat and talked for a while until Robert needed to get ready for tea with his family. He'd thought about asking Aaron to stay, a large part of him wanting the comfort the younger man's presence offered, but Robert knew that he needed to start standing on his own two feet. He needed to forge the connections with his family members.

 

Robert held tightly to Aaron's hand as the two men entered the hospital the next morning. Robert couldn't seem to keep a handle on his nerves. He knew Doc said this was all routine, but Robert couldn't shake the fear coursing through his body. He just felt the worst case of dread he'd ever known.

Robert signed in at the desk, his hand shaking slightly as he tried to fill in the necessary forms. Then Arron led him to the waiting room and they sat down, Aaron squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Your doctor said this is all just routine, right, so nothing to worry about," the younger man soothed. "We'll go out for a pint after to celebrate, yeah? Well, a pint for me and an orange for you," he teased.

Robert smiled weakly in gratitude. He couldn't believe how much Aaron had changed his life in the short time he'd known him, but it was true. Robert's whole life was better for having met him. He had his brother back after all these years. He was finally building bridges with the rest of his family. Katie was finally out of their lives. And his family knew who he really was now, and they didn't care. They supported him completely. And none of those things wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for Aaron. The mechanic gave him the strength he needed to make it through all those things. Robert was finally happy. 

Robert stood, Aaron standing as well when his name was called. Robert squeezed Aaron's fingers in thanks as they followed the nurse. The men walked into the doctor's office and sat down in front of her desk. "So how exactly is this gonna work, Doc?" Robert asked nervously.

"You must be Aaron," Doc said, addressing the man sitting next to her patient, I've heard quite a bit about you," she said, amused.

Aaron blushed slightly. "What exactly has he said," he asked.

"Only good things," Doc reassured. "Robert, I've adjusted your meds. I need you start taking the new cocktail with your next dosage. "I think you'll find that the panic attacks lessen."

Robert stared at her in horror as the truth dawned on him. "They weren't panic attacks? They were a symptom?"

Doc shook her head emphatically. "Not all of them, Robert. The panic attacks are real, at least some of them. But yes, as I said, we sometimes need to change up the medication along the way. You've read the material. You know it's normal."

Robert nodded slowly, still looking a bit dazed. Aaron just watched on in confusion. "Robert? What's wrong?"

Robert looked over at Aaron. "The reason we're changing my meds is because I was showing signs of my body rejecting the liver," he answered quietly.

"Don't worry yourself too much, Aaron. This is completely normal. Changing the meds until we get it right is just par for the course. Robert is going to be just fine," Doc answered reassuringly. Robert nods slightly in agreement.

Aaron looked stricken for a moment before he pulled Robert in, hugging him tightly. When he finally released the older man he turned to the doctor. "Is there anything I should be looking for? What can I do to help?"

Robert smiled slightly. "It's ok, Aaron. Doc is right. It always takes time for them to get the combination of meds right since everyone is different. I'm ok. As long as I have you and my family, I'm gonna be ok."

Aaron stared into Robert's eyes for a while before he finally nodded, a smile forming on his face. "Yeah," he said. "You're gonna be fine, because you've always got me."

Robert walked out of the hospital with Aaron at his side, knowing that his family was waiting for him, waiting to rebuild the relationships Katie had damaged so many years ago, and he realized for the first time that he'd done the impossible. He'd escaped his past and in doing so, he'd found a future that was brighter than he'd ever dreamed possible.


End file.
